Showing posts with label College Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College Life. Show all posts

Saturday, June 8, 2013

bon voyage

How clearly the emotions we remember, of those frightened steps that were hesitant to move ahead. That was the day when few timid hearts obliged with immense aspirations consoled themselves, and accepted what they ultimately arrived at. That was the first day when we entered our engineering college…
(click to enlarge)

I am in final year of my B-tech now. And for me, there has been a series of learning and experiences outside my textbooks. I know this would be true for my immediate seniors too. They ended their terms in our college after their completion of final semester, and have left us alone. I had been attached emotionally with some, and tied friendliness with many.  The most crucial thing I am going to miss now is I won’t be hanging around them explaining peculiar thoughts and curiosities that pet in my mind. Few things no one understands, and I never explain them to everyone. I will miss them who truly understood what I used to explain. :D

Whatever be your college's status, whatever curse you prize your college with, at the end you are going to miss it. I have seen them… not just through the moistness that prevailed in their eyes but through the unexplainable silence rooted somewhere deep inside. Emotions pouring through eyes are not as powerful as the silence is, and that too creased in a smile. Unexplainable situations, I know I would have to witness myself too. The one which is a year far, I know that will get closer in blink of an eye. At the end, we people turn out to be so dependent on the ambiance that prevail consistently in our hostel. When back to home, we tend to stick to the same routine, we tend to find the same people. Who is going to bang on to our doors shouting aloud names connecting them with girls in the nearest girl’s hostel, who will be there to quarrel for a puff of cigarette? Friendship is the last string that keeps you attached in your memories despite of truck load conspiracies you got to confront in your four years.

I won’t point out names of my seniors specifically because almost everyone had been very special to me in one way or the other. I got to learn something from them which awakened me from sort of darkness in different realms. Now me being in the final year, I take the responsibility to support and elate my juniors. I have plans for this year. I hope I will be able to execute them efficiently. And for my seniors, I wish them good luck for their lives ahead. And as Robert Frost had said, ‘In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on’; so lets move on, and pledge to work even harder in our future and march ourselves towards excellence.

Please do stay in touch!

ANSHUL GAUTAM

Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Kid Has Died...



Love is a feeling which can make you do things beyond your imagination. Even if you are creeping into disguise, you won’t notice it clearly before your eyes, as they lie veiled beneath LOVE.
While some take love seriously, others treat it like a game where they should try their hands too. This post is an imagination by me about one such kid, who faced mishap from his mate.

In a cottage at my nearest 
A wicked spell has outraged
Gulped into the darkness of underworld
Infancy of a kid has got caged.
As came the demonic blow of Satan,
The angelic cosmos; tranquil & serene,
In a wink of eyes they all have faded.
Fantastical characters locked inside dolls
Are lying crushed; dead in terrain of remorse.
Anthology of knitted stories held on the shelf
Has fallen off the walls of hope
Cascade of pages have come out
Sucked into the whirlpool of hatred.
Clinking of bells have stopped
Brewing is stillness
A frightening awe has evolved.

Out of scare frozen in my spines
I hurried to shut close my window
But before, a tattered note came flying inside
Inscribed in red: 'my love'
I recognized the kid’s handwriting.
With a jolt of dread, senses riposted
I woke up with pounding heart affrighted.
A nightmare?
Pearls of perspiration rolled off my lobes
Hue and cry prevailed in air
I heard through the window,
'A kid has died'.


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Brain-sick's Diary #4 >> Unusualness


Something unusual has happened. Something that is pulling me into despair. Something which is clenching me in the fist of depression; a depression of a kind whose origin lies veiled. Only my senses are reactive towards the rhetoric discussions I have been raising inside me. Perceptions I envisage is pulling me apart with a force that can uproot a living strong tree, that can bring to the grounds tombs of giant mega structures, that can explode away a town with nuke energy.  I don’t know the specific reason. I just witness the unusualness.

Interests are getting suppressed. Things that used to be my passion (which they still are, but have gone under hibernation) are also getting dim in my arena. I go through early pages of my life, and I feel surprised on the changes I underwent. In the isolation, in the separate space where I have dragged myself into, I keep juggling thoughts and beliefs that have burst out from nowhere. Why does this happen? No clues.

Facebook? Twitter? G+? I have quit almost all of them. I used to be one of the most active person on social media websites. Though I never run out of plots for short stories and poetry, but increased intimacy with the unusualness has slackened the will to perform, to write them on my blog. Why am I writing all this crap right now? I am only scribbling my heart on pages of my open diary just to bookmark this day, and when I will look back again in distant future, I will try to feel the worst unusualness that I have experienced. Why does this happen? No clues.

Friendship which is considered to be the most sacred relationship (I haven’t seen, I read in books) never crosses my way. It might be that I am very stiff at my attitude and consequently this relationship never intersected into my way. I have always tried to mix with people, tried to get to know them, tried to weave strands of solidarity with the people whom I connected with. But I have failed each time. Love? Does it exist? I have only seen unusualness.


This unusualness is intensifying with each passing day.  If I could ever get to reach its origin, I will surely bring myself out of this labyrinth, killing the evil spree to death. 

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Confessing Secrets


I have been admin of several literary Facebook pages which deal with art and presentation of artistic talents. Fortunately, I happened to be one of the co-admin of a confession page on Facebook lately. I am amazed to see the rising popularity of that confession page which is subduing the popularity of any other page on Facebook. The confession page I am currently seeing, where I was asked by one of my senior to manage as the admin, is currently getting approximately twenty confessions each day. I am surprised to see the number of likes which has crossed the mark of 800 today, and this figure was achieved within a span of two weeks since the page was formed. This is a reason for enviousness as I am also looking after my own Facebook fan page which has hardly got 520 likes and that too in this period of two years. Moreover pages like BCET Bloggers and Facebook page of our college’s Tech-cum-Cultural fest, which is being managed by me again, has hardly turned out to be this popular. Reasons?

It is the desperation of being pulled together and expressing what they never dared to say to the opposite genders. I won’t get biased on any side, I am just presenting my sole reactions on seeing the database of confessions we are receiving. And I can see, that we are getting equally sincere confessions from the both sides. At this juncture, I wonder, why are people so tempting towards spilling out their hearts about their love concerns? If they wanna spill their heart out then isn’t there anything else that they would like to share and contemplate about?

I get to learn something from this. If you want to get popular on social media then you would have to project your actions and plan your way out through advertisements in such a way that it relates with the 'attracting phenomena' of opposite sexes. And certainly yes, to a very large extent this is correct. You can see how almost every advertisements on television are now being presented and screen played. They resemble your love life somewhere or the world of your love-fantasy or may be about the broken love life of yours. These three things I should say are working as the three chief dots which draw the big popularity triangle.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

An Odd Invention



Like the way OS drives hardware,
My tender heart drives my actions.
My CPU seldom pauses its function,
Clutched in multiple processes
And deadly thread synchronization.
Endured against suffocation,
Withstanding brute deadlock condition;
I envy that giant-tiny mastermind,
Fabricated into a chip
Named after Intel’s perfection.

My limbs and glands,
Constitute my local connection.
Through narrow bandwidth in my nerves
Runs protocol for communication.
In meshes, in rings, in stars or on buses,
With niggling breaks and data congestion
My dreams sail in intense versions.
Full of exclamations and interjections,
My vision surpasses
Chris Nolan’s ‘Inception’.

Procuring the imagination
Of an unmatched conviction.
With new thoughts’ propulsion
At my solitary mansion,
I head towards tranquility
Drawing my steps towards the invention.
An invention that can help you find
Eternal love for your life 
Exempted of distrust and disgust.
Aided with honesty, and upheld warmly.

And that would be my ultimate innovation;
My blow of life,
Into lives of millions & millions.



Images Courtesy : Google Images Search

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Enviousness



I envy him…
The stealer who sneaked into my vase,
Furtively he lavished my flowers with glam.
With strokes of his magic wand;
Vanished my flowers; their essence scrammed.
I still care and preserve,
The leftover aroma in the emptiness.
I envy him…
As he turned into a giant black cloud,
Hovered above; embraced my love in the night sky.
A tear rolled down, and mingled with stillness in lake.
And soon it rained; emerged an urge to crush my ache.
But I stood low, dormant and lifeless.
I wait for the sky to get clear.
I envy him…
The musketeer who plundered into my home.
He took away all that was mine,
Sweetness on her lips, and her dimpled face in shine.
I wish his musket to kill me,
As her memories couldn’t help me die.


Image Courtesy : Anshul Gautam's - ViBGYOR

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Journey...


Its album ‘Passions’ by Ghazal Maestro, Late Shree Jagjit Singh, playing on my computer while I am typing this. And the lyrics is conforming with emotions once I had. It was my first semester break, and I was going back home, in Gujarat. I had tried to cage my emotions within sheets of my notebook, somewhere which remains in its hideous isolation now.Then, I was different, from what I am now. At least I had tears, and I could spill them when I needed. Now even after million tries, I don’t get any. I wish, if I could feel light, bursting out from the complex lockage in my brains.

I was travelling alone, and I talked with myself all through the journey. And the reciprocation of turbulence of thoughts was imprisoned within certain pages. I stopped by at those pages today, while I was tearing them off before putting them on fire. And the pages read :


I sit still, and scenes through my window ‘pass’ by. 
Like projection of memories on walls, 
Glimpses of my existence in them pass by.
The distant horizon moves with me, like the ultimate goal in my life. 
Hills and its ranges, terrain rough and sprawling solitude pass by.
I watch as a viewer, terrains where I had been. 
Scraped pieces of my loneliness, my jobless thoughts in them pass by.
Rivulets in their topsy-turvy curves, 
Meeting and dividing; behold my soul. 
Kinships I had and pain of their losses pass by.

Away from solitude, my eyes snap at commotion,
As the city in energy passes by.
Of all few causes that put us down,
Million reasons to rise and smile pass by.
The obstinacy to laugh, promises to shine pass by.
The shine is in our goal, and the journey is our road to shine.
I still still, and scenes through my window pass by.
I close my eyes slowly,
Dazzles of glistens, sparks of enticement,
Fervor in my goals ‘waltz’ by.



Image Courtesy : Google Images Search



Monday, December 24, 2012

Brain-sick's Diary #1 >> Expectations


“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”
I read this quote somewhere on Internet. I was trying to join my friend’s fan page, but some cross-links came forward and carried me away from Facebook. I transfixed my eyes, shook my heart, as the words started crawling in multiple spheres of my mind.
What’s wrong with it? The quotation just screamed out the truth!

How can human sustain without expectations? This was the food for my thought on my way back to home from our nearest grocery store.
If I purchase a packet of biscuit, I have some expectation about its taste.
Even the old lady at store expects me to come back again for some more shopping. I can read from sparkles in her eyes each time she bids me bye. How can one say that they hate expectations.

I kept walking tardily, my feet freezing and denying any movement further. But it was stringent thoughts which kept my mind busy, obscured from wants of my legs. I entered my house, even forgot to close the door. I was back to my senses only then when my mom started chiding upon me for not having purchased some butter. She chided some more when her hairs started to swirl and ruffle from the strong cold wind that came through the open door.
I looked back at the open door. I realized, there is always some purpose behind every instance. The Butter! I knew it wont be easy, but I must go. I slammed the door from outside, and it banged.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I am a Foodie



Yeah! I am a foodie. But then, I wasn’t. When I was a kid, my mom used to rush around me, following me wherever I ran, with lunch plate in her one hand, and spoon in the other. I didn’t like to eat. Actually I loved junk foods, but mom never served them to me. Health conscious, you know. As I grew up, I fathomed my field of tastes. I found I was restricted within my favorites and never stepped out of them. This could be the reason, why I was thinner.

When I was in Kota, it was the time, when I turned foodie. I ate exceedingly, and it reflected through inflation of my tummy. But I didn’t care. Nice food, nice people around who encouraged my food habits. This was what I loved the most. You eat what you like, and people around you support that too. Rajasthan is famous for the spicy food you get there. I was paying guest to a Rajasthani family, and I enjoyed my stay there; my taste buds awake always with every spices they added.

Today, when I am living in hostel, I feel once again as if my field of tastes in food has turned limited. We get tremendously bad quality food here. Consequently, I have lost my senses to what food tastes like when I am eating. I am eating here just to keep myself alive. I have lot to study, and I haven’t met a girlfriend yet. So keeping myself fit, and active with this quality of food is challenging.
*Click on Photo to Enlarge*

Being a foodie is one thing, and knowing how to cook is another. I learnt to cook something worth to eat while I was staying with my friends, during the previous semester end. I was exposed to their style to living. And I learnt how to survive with whatever we get easily around us. I mean vegetables and eggs; that make lives of bachelors easy. :P
The pic above is a collage of various pics I snapped while my friends were at work. I was involved too, but I was keener on capturing frames with my newly bought cam. :)