Brain-sick's Diary #1 >> Expectations

“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”

I read this quote somewhere on Internet. I was trying to join my friend’s fan page, but some cross-links came forward and carried me away from Facebook. I transfixed my eyes, shook my heart, as the words started crawling in multiple spheres of my mind.
What’s wrong with it? The quotation just screamed out the truth!

How can human sustain without expectations? This was the food for my thought on my way back to home from our nearest grocery store.
If I purchase a packet of biscuit, I have some expectation about its taste.
Even the old lady at store expects me to come back again for some more shopping. I can read from sparkles in her eyes each time she bids me bye. How can one say that they hate expectations.

I kept walking tardily, my feet freezing and denying any movement further. But it was stringent thoughts which kept my mind busy, obscured from wants of my legs. I entered my house, even forgot to close the door. I was back to my senses only then when my mom started chiding upon me for not having purchased some butter. She chided some more when her hairs started to swirl and ruffle from the strong cold wind that came through the open door.
I looked back at the open door. I realized, there is always some purpose behind every instance. The Butter! I knew it wont be easy, but I must go. I slammed the door from outside, and it banged.

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Freaky Techy | Windows 8

Windows 8. Yeshh! 

I installed windows 8 on my beloved laptop. And she is working fine and smooth, like the creamy and flavored coffee anyone can ask for. :D 

I got to install Windows 8 last month itself. I was packed with happiness about it and thought of exploding on my blog. But I was tied mercilessly in ropes of my semester exams. Thank god, I am free now. :P

If you are being carried away in the current of ‘windows 8 is useless’, then beware, you might be getting lost somewhere. Windows 7 is no doubt one of the stable operating system developed by Microsoft. But I tell you, performance wise, keeping aspects like security against malwares, look and feel of interface, resources usage, modes of multitasking, portability and usability, integration of clouds, and there will be certainly many more other advantages as well, which even I don’t know yet, that makes Windows 8 a superior release from Microsoft.

(Click on photos to enlarge)

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Brain-sick's Diary #2 >> If I were a Bird

It has been harsh these days. Weather has been behaving strangely. The sun is shy to come out, and has lost somewhere. Probably it has its own chores to sort out. I can see how the clouds have been troubling him. And there has been rain which was not anticipated, at least not at this time of year. Flowers in my garden, with feeble colors on their petals, are showing their miseries. I can do nothing other than watching them wither in cold. It pains to watch them die; flowers I had gardened with all my care.

Even the birds have migrated. Who is going to look after their homes now? I watch them fly together, flapping their wings slowly in distant sky, sometimes showing up, sometimes hiding behind clouds. Among the flock, I try to find the one, who is lonely. It may be because I want someone to resemble me. I look for my existence in them. The bad side of me, and a little good in me, I appraise each one minutely. In books, I read, living life with too much care and precautions is certainly not a good lifestyle. We should be carefree, and joyous. We should never look back in the long race we are running in. These are what books on ‘Art of Living’ say.

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Lights' Festivity | Deepavali

My eyes illuminated, from the widespread festive fervor that tingled deep into veins.

My city Oh Lord; engrossed with energy, wrapped in arms of symbolic victory of good deeds over evils, stands aloud in the stillness of darkness.

Crackles and shouts; celebrations of joy! of togetherness and solidarity; the emblem of illumed country land.

With offerings of salvations, and courage to endorse truth, I lift glint from my heart, and protrude it into a lamplight.

My lamplight to stay glowing; shadows to escape, and gleams of enlightenment in my soul to rejuvenate, are the words I shall keep in my pray.

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Elicitation

अश्को के समंदर में,
बेपनाह प्यास से,
बेवफा प्यार में तेरी 
जल रहा हूँ मैं.

टूट के छितराए
अरमानो के टुकरों पर,
हर डग खून सींच रहा हु मैं.

कातिल तेरे खंजर की
चोट से बढ़कर ,
तेरी यादों की लौ में 
जल रहा हूँ मैं....


(C) Anshul Gautam

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Home!!! | Gharaonda...

घर की याद तो आती थी,

आंसू छलक भी जाते थे;

लफ़्ज़ों में हाल बयां ना करते,

पर दर्शक समझ ही जाते थे.

हमारी तेज़ और स्पर्धा को

नयी उचाइयां जो देनी थी,

कुछ अधूरे ख्वाब थे हमारे,

पुराने कुर्ते के फटे जेब थे सारे;

इनको नया जो करना था,

अम्बर से प्रकाश को लाना था.

घर की झोली कम पर जाती

तो हौसला अपने अन्दर ही भर लिए;

मैं फिर आऊंगा की दस्तक छोर कर

घर से दूर हम निकल लिए.

वर्ष कितने ऐसे ही बीते;

संघर्ष में सनी स्याही से,

हम इतिहास के नये पन्ने भरते.

घर की बिलखती यादों को शांत कर

ह्रदय कठोर, हौसला ठान कर,

मैं जल्द आऊंगा के गीत गा कर,

मंजिलों की ओर हम बढ़ते रहते.

  

अपने आंगन से दूर रह कर,

विशाल गगन में अपनी छाप छोर कर,

आज चंद सितारे तोड़ लाया हूँ;

घर से दूर रह कर

अंधकार जो हमने देखा था,

हिम्मतों की खरी लौ में आज,

अमर दीपक जला कर लाया हूँ.

मंजिलों को हासिल करके,

कुछ और नये ख्वाब देख के,

हौसला कुछ और समेट ले आया हूँ;

नए धुनों में अपने गीत भर कर,

अपनी आवाज़ में गुनगुना रहा हूँ.

माँ के पास आज लौटने,

घर वापस मैं जा रहा हूँ...

घर वापस मैं जा रहा हूँ…

(C) ANSHUL GAUTAM

/*     I want to dedicate this poem to my lovely Father. What sort of days we have seen together, living away from our own home, for consecutive five years almost, they can' be described in words. However I just tried to present a glimpse in this poem. This is for the first time in my life when I have tried to write a poem in Hindi. I can speak, but honestly, I am very weak at writing Hindi. But still, I have tried.
And my Dad; he is very happy on being back to our home town, back to our home. My mom and me; we glad on seeing him happy. :))     */

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'1920' : My Curiosity Returns

Unlike the way the title of this post throws an impression, I am not concerned about any historic event that took place. Rather, ‘1920 : Evil Returns’, is a recent Bollywood horror movie, released as sequel to ‘1920’, which was released in 2008. I don’t think there is any kind of connection, and I treat both parts as independent movies. This time our talented thriller and horror specialist (at least I consider him to be one), Mr. Vikram Bhatt chose to produce the film, rather than directing it. Although the story has been written by Vikram Bhatt himself, but Mr. Bhushan Patel did the direction. And I loved his work. I would have enjoyed a lot more, if girls in cinema hall screamed a bit less. :P

I am not a professional critic. But I think that when we ought to watch some creativity, our expressions yield reactions automatically. I don’t watch horror movies to get scared, and never judge the script, acting and direction depending on how much scared I got. I look for creativity in the story, and how it was executed in the movie. And when it comes to horror movies, I think the domain of presentation becomes very narrow. And this is why we often come across the same sequences, almost similar, in every story. There are various movies, not just in Bollywood, who fail to present the 'invisible' in a creative manner. Their way of presentation is almost same in every movie. :O

You would be amazed, that the so called super horror movie : 'The Exorcist (1973)' was even based on several stories that went by at that time. Today there are many movies who portray several sections of  ‘The Exorcist’ modifying it to some extent. And ‘1920: Evil Returns’ is no exception. I clearly got to recognize the sequences; where they have been extracted from, and how they modified them.

The best thing in ‘1920 :Evil Returns’ is the music. The background score is mind blowing. Even the story line is good, but it gets pace only in second half of the movie. The new girl I saw there (May be I didn't watch any of her previous movies), Tia Bajpai, has done acting tremendously well. There was nothing too difficult in the story line for Aftab Shivdasani. So you will find him in the same mood, from start and till the end.

Other than several technical aspects, I concluded that the movie was worth watching.  :))

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Stillness

I listen to the stillness
I witness purity at dawn
I listen to gentle rain
I watch the awnless lawn.

With my eyes closed
I try to feel
Sudden rush of chillness,
Stillness in weather’s appeal.

My bare feet lead me 
To the last bench I see,
No one is in park
Just stillness in bevy.

Only rain on them sound
Barky trees don’t sway,
Stillness have cursed them
Just still they stay.

It reminds me of a picture
Once I hung on my wall,
Black demons were all around
White man stood still in thrall.

What I see, Is it photo-frame’s ordeal?
Or is it me inside it, alive and surreal?
Demons have stolen all the colors
Caged me in arms of stillness.

I will push through
The stillness stilled,
Demons turn weak
Once the Sun is unveiled.

I run; fast and quick
Stillness freezes me at halfway
But I still can see and feel,
Stillness in the next picture on my wall.

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