Years In A Wrap - 2022

The horse ride was a bumpy one. At times, I thought it was not even a horse, rather it was the earth quaking as I walked past the lanes. But no, that was a horse indeed, I realized this much later. And I didn’t know how to ride one. If you don’t choose something, it doesn’t mean that thing won’t come to you. Sometimes they just come to you even without you having called for them specifically. The horse ride came to me unknowingly, and I failed at it.

More than three years now, I look back at the miles travelled. I judge them now. I judge them because now I feel I have grown with the experience and learning. In my judgements I find I was the biggest defaulter. I defaulted miserably. I kept on failing and never gathered enough courage to look upon myself. I have regret of not been able to perform, to be the best that I could, and handle situations with maturity. I thought, and I spoke blubberish and always felt victimized. Today, I own the responsibility that I was wrong and all the defaulting traits were inside of me. I feel sorry on myself for being so. I seek apology for my actions to everybody, and to myself. I cannot agree more with what Sant Kabir said.

बुरा जो देखन मैं चला, बुरा न मिलिया कोय । जो दिल खोजा आपना, मुझसे बुरा न कोय ॥

I failed like such an idiot who can write a book on how to fail. But I am glad, there still prevails opportunities for me. For example, a loser like me can write a book on how to fail. The opportunities will always be there, even after having committed tonnes of mistakes. I am glad that today I take cognizance of all my mistakes and acknowledge them upon me. I learned to look on the brighter side of my journey. These emotions empower me to continue my journey. Casually, I want to quote few lines from an enthralling poetry by Faiz Ahmad Faiz.

और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा, राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल की राहत के सिवा ।

The health took a toll as well. Being in a good state of personal health is matter of utmost importance for everyone. A good health comprises of your mental fitness and your physical fitness. Each of these two are invaluable. I neglected both and failed at it. When I will write the book on how to fail, if in case I am left with no other choice, I will include failure lessons from the health aspect too. I will try my best in years to come to maintain a good health, my mental and my physical health. And I wish everyone does this.

Just like a good health of our body and the soul, a good financial health of yours cannot be neglected as well. Over the years I realized I failed at managing my own finances. But thankfully towards the end of this year I realized and took steps to correct them. There is no set rule which will always work in favor of your finances. But definitely a disciplined regime will help somewhat. I have started practicing it.

Too much of writing, now I need to get back to my horse and begin riding. The journey is on.

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Kaleidoscope

Today I gaze down from the sky,

A child I see and he looks familiar.

In dearth of space all around,

He runs diagonal and back on the roof.

There is jovial ting-a-ling of toys too, 

As he searches for friends in dilapidated walls.

There are rivers coursing below,

And many puddles made of rain.

Torn out from stacks of old newspapers,

He crafts his boats and sets them afloat.

Holi is still far, but colors stay.

With Red, Blue, Yellow and Green, 

He imprints arches of hands on his faded shirt.

Who has the bat? And who brings the ball?

This daily mess the playground speaks.

Ditched away at the far boundary,

Dazzlingly he spots himself in the propelling airplane.

Just the same innocent pair of eyes,

But now old and aided with glasses.

Today I gaze down from the sky,

A child I see and he looks familiar. 

There was no electricity all night,

And with clock the light of the dawn waits.

Only the Sun will illuminate the darkness,

Rising lazily from the skyline.

Breakfast and the schoolbag get ready,

One day more with a safety-pinned shirt at school.

Legs hurt, but walk past hastily to the stop,

Not much time before the bus gets off.

Occupying the last seat on the left of the aisle,

The heavy bag safely lays concealed.

With the loud whir of the wings in the sky,

Carelessly peeking his head out of the window,

Dazzlingly he spots himself in the propelling airplane.

Just the same innocent pair of eyes,

But now old and aided with glasses.

Today I gaze down from the sky,

A child I see and he looks familiar.

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Welcome Home, Oh Mother - 2022

Oh Mother, you are so kind.

What in this world is hidden from you, everything stays in your mind. 

I am a simple, downtrodden creation of yours. 

May your blessings and grace always remain on me like a Mother, this is what I resolve. 

I am very much elated of your coming, like everyone else is. 

Please accept my place as well amongst other devotees, and shower upon me your love.

Jealously, I demand more, I keep demanding more.

Forgive me for that. 

But I am your child, assure me that. 

I am surrounded by misery, suffering, and so many difficulties in life. 

I believe that you must be knowing this. 

Just have mercy,  Oh Mother!

Have mercy on me now.

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Poetic approach on what causes lightening and thunder - The Lightning Strikes

Science defines how does lightning happen, what causes lightning and thunder, by explaining that clouds in the sky carry bunch of positive and negative charges in them. When they grow large enough, their coming together gives gigantic spark, which we call Lightning. The static electricity in the sky gives the jolt way down till the grounds. Sometimes ferocious, sometimes muted...

A poet's take on causes of lightning defines a different story, with a metaphorical touch. It also has to do with physical coming together of a positive mass and a negative mass. Individuals when come close together, they bring emotional thunder, lightning and reverberations too. These are a benediction for many, and painful for few others. You need to listen closely to the echoes to understand what the sound has to say.

The Lightning Strikes

Even though you believed you both are repelling,

But some day you will fuse together into one.

Should we call that love? that burst of energy?

Or name it a bumbling locus shot from the nature's gun.

Though you promised you won't ever run away

But you did, and merrily you did with the repellent one.

Weren't you afraid of the lightning, hey?

The thunder caused from your deed has left me spun.

You couldn't hear my cries, my voice in twinge,

As you were floating in the skies when you two met.

I was griming, back and forth in the emotional fringe,

Upside down and rolling, drenched gloomily in the sweat.

My wounds are not going to heal soon,

Because the jolts of energy in the thunder has hit me hard.

My songs will linger to play in the perpetual tune,

As my faith in you is as firm as towers on the boulevard.

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Assurance

You had given a ray of surmise to his dying sighs,

You had raised the fallen with your tender arms,

You had infused a smile of happiness in a sobbing life.

You had made him realise when his life seemed to be at its end

That there is more life remaining in it.

Like a stone on the road, many formed him as their weapon

And many broke him to pieces as if he were a road blocker.

Then, you had reminded him of his selfdom...

Then what happened so suddenly

That you began to consider him as the same stone on your path,;

What overtook on you that you moved on so easily.

Had he died earlier when you tried to save him, 

He might not have had that much pain

As it is boiling now, 

When you have turned your face away

And left him back alone.

You should have once given him a reason, if his flaws troubled you,

Not only he would have fought the world for you,

But, would have collected pearls to ease off your suffering all along.

Yes, you could have told him once.

He contemplates with each and every tick on the croaking clock;

How can the love so profound dissolve so easily,

No, it can't...

How can you care so much, but then leave easily;

No, you can't...

If it was love, you would have stayed.

Yes, you would have stayed.

Was this for your own good?

You should have elucidated...

No, this can't be true...

Today he is alone, more lonely than ever...

Taking some last breaths probably.

He has not slept for several nights now,

The food has stopped going down his throat.

May be, the death is near...

But he still hopes that you will come and meet him before the clock stops,

And you will re-assure

That you were there for him, you are there for him,

And you will bring back this Assurance before it's time for him to leave.

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How Paperblog spoils your hardwork on your blog

When you start your blog, or your full fledged website, it's obvious that you try for gaining traffic by going into forums and sharing your posts there. There are also several blog directories which guarantee you to provide traffic and we novice bloggers submit our blogs there without going through the detailed terms and conditions.

Paperblog is one such website, which works a magazine site, and provides content from your blog or website which you submit to them. They don't provide their our content and serve content from their members who chose to submit their blogs or websites to them. They ask you to submit your blog to them after registering and then in form of feeds they will take away your posts and publish on their platform.

Such a selfish motive by Paperblog where they don't need to work on creating their own content but thrive on your work, your precious hard work which you did. Now since they have collected massive content from their different members, they are just serving them on their website, with minimal or no substantial credit to original content writer. They have put up a lot of ad networks on their website and are earning  from the work which you did.

The link that they provide, a link which is hardly visible on your post on their website, is also not a do follow link which might benefit you. Instead, they can create a pain for you when you start seeing that the content which you originally created is coming up in second or third page in Google search result but the same content on Paperblog is showing up on the first page in Google Search Results.

I was checking for Plagiarism if any content on this website is found duplicate or not. I was amazed to see very good bunch of articles coming up as plagiarised. When I detail checked, I found that it was Paperblog where my content was popping up and my own content this was is said to be duplicate. And as I mentioned, Paperblog's DA(Domain Authority) and PA(Page Authority) are much better than my own website here, and hence their Google page ranking is also better.

I am sure any content creator won't like this. I agree that it was my mistake that I did by submitting my website to them. But once I learned what my mistake was, I tried to correct it up. Although I didn't remember what password I used to create my account there, I tried my best to recover the password so that I can login and delete my account. Somehow, after recovering my access on their website, I logged in to Paperblog. To my surprise I found that I can't delete my account or deactivate it. Great!

So, here is another punch strategy from Paperblog. They won't allow its users to login and delete or deactivate their accounts themselves. You can only see your posts that are present there, as an outcome of your mistake to submit your blog to them.

Upon searching a lot, I found that I need to 'Contact' them through their contact form, mentioning that I want to delete my Paperblog account and then they will delete from their backend. Amazing.

Till now, I have dropped five such requests from their contact form to delete my account and all my posts there which are originally mine and were shared here, on this website. They haven't responded yet. And I have very faint hope that they will reply back ever or delete my account. The reason being their social account profiles, Facebook and Twitter, are not so active these days. I should not even use words like 'these days' because their social accounts are not showing any activity for last two years.

Google should take action on such websites which are hampering the original content creators and are gaining bunch of profits from the hard work of their members.

I have messaged them on their Facebook page and also shared tweets tagging their twitter handle, but I have not received any response so far.

This was a mistake I did, and currently I am not sure how I will be able to correct it. In case you are also a new bee, and if by any chance you are deciding to submit your blog or website to them, then friend pause your self. With my experience I can only share that they are evil and will make profits from your work.

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Longing Heart...

From random scribblings while looking outside through a small window in twilight on a locked down city.

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The Wind and The Candle

This is the love that pulls you towards emptiness, Angel.

It has done so to me...

Longing... It's like a void, dearth of darkness spread across

On inner walls of my heart.

Of an uncountable universes there

Where mystic holes black keep chanting of timeless desires;

Yearning for lascivious infinitude;

Where candles lit by you in my hopes never die.

The two of us, you and me Angel,

 Who could never meet,

As we were oceans apart tied in our priorities of life;

I wonder why I wasn't your priority.

I keep fighting, though tired, but still gasping 

For affection all the time.

The Wind and the Candle...

They lie in their death bed  relaxed, so lost in this emptiness,

In the void of darkness,

On inner walls of my heart.

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