Phantasy

You shine like a star

 In my cold and empty room.

 Through the years in the storm

I wished you meet me soon.

For I have been alone,

Every time after school.

I have talked to my heart,

In there where you rule.

The long you prolong the wait

More weak I tend to go.

Though I remember the date,

I never cut my birthday cake.

I imagine the sweetness

Floating in my mouth.

When your lips will seal on mine,

It will rain on the land of drought.

Come to me in real,

Out from the phantasy land.

Or kill me in this world,

And drag me to where you stand.

You shine like a star

 In my cold and empty room.

 Through the years in the storm

I wished you meet me soon.

Image Courtesy : Google Images Search

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Brain-sick's Diary #6 | Conundrum

In the lucid smile, there is a not so lucid story.

A story of coming of age… A story so confused in itself to be narrated…

Silence prevails, in attempts to unravel the mystery,

Of looking inside, of looking within.

And what is apprehensible? It’s the outside world…

The world that eyes witness.

Doubt prevails, when eyes assume to have found the truth.

In situations so common, why emotions are anarchical.

Emotions fabricated from love… Emotions fabricated from loss of love.

Silence prevails, in attempts to unravel the mystery,

Of looking inside, of looking within.

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A Surprising Weekend to come...

As I moved myself to the billing counter, the biller handed me a lucky draw coupon. I scratched it and to my dismay I found I was one of the lucky winners to get two VIP passes for an event night at Salt Lake Stadium, Kolkata. On inquiring further with the biller, he told that its about a dance and music show, which is going to be performed by Allu Arjun and Anushka Manchanda. As he said the name Anushka Manchanda, my wife jolted with happiness. She is a music freak and is one of the fans of Anushka Manchanda. And me being a dance enthusiast, I knew the deadly dance moves owner Allu Arjun. He has given some of the finest movies and his acting cannot be scaled in any way and so is his dancing skill. It couldn’t have been a better surprise for us. This weekend we wanted to celebrate and the occasion now became so grand.

We have seen a lot of actors in different movies. But very few among them are those who come out of their comfort zones to give their best. Allu Arjun is one of them. The superb acting done by him in movies like Arya, and Arya 2 is beyond any description. The critic’s acclaim that he has got in so less time is very appreciable. I am a dance enthusiast and the killing moves by Allu Arjun just leave me speechless. My wife who has a passion for music, she loves to listen to Anushka. I have often remarked her that she tries to copy the articulation in voice which we find in Anushka’s. She proudly accepts that yes she does and she owns the right being her fan.

We are enthralled to go and watch the dance and music night tomorrow. Just imagining the evening together with my wife, watching our favorites is making me feel warm. The duo is so perfect together, and their performance would combine to present a memorable jugalbandi, which might be the best in many years to come. Whatever be the occasion, the duo can perform together and set the stage on fire and deliver total entertainment to the audience.

Music is a best medicine to de-stress yourself. And this weekend is going to be very special for us two as we have turned out to be lucky entrants into this grand occasion in our city. My wife thinks she might be lucky enough to get their autograph and a selfie too. I don’t know if she would be that lucky or not, but one thing is sure that the musical performance will be awesome.

I am blogging for #MaxFreshMove activity atBlogAdda.com. Are you?

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A night to remember...

Music is a drug. The life otherwise without music has a lot to put you down and bite with its fangs. Music acts as a drug to boost your energy level and recharges you for the next steps. And when music is accompanied by your dance moves, it turns out to be as if it is a catalyst for the drug, helps you relieve the stress much quickly.

After the office while I am travelling in bus or sometimes in train, I always plug the earphones in and tune into Youtube channel to watch Allu Arjun’s dance moves. His dance moves on the music beats blows me off. And when the music which guides Arjun’s feet moves is from Anushka Manchanda, the effect can’t be described in words. While watching through the videos, I travel back in time when I was in college and try to perceive the impeccable duo on our college podium during cultural nights of college fest. Those days were amazing. And just to imagine myself there with the duo performing live blows me off.

I see myself there, dancing… shouting… Our madness at the peak as Arjun perfoms on the stage with Anushka musical vocals to add to our craziness. Certainly, its last cultural night for us because next month we would be graduating out from our college. The feeling inside us to make this night memorable seems to have become true, as they continue to perform. I don’t know how to dance, neither does my friends. But it’s the trigger which Arjun has pulled and we have just started to copy his steps, though not perfectly. And sing along with the Anushka. They pause, and let us complete a snippet of song, and then they continue further. The perfect coordination of dance and music together at one stage seems so rare to be seen. But on our last cultural night at college, we seem to have enjoyed that, for us were able to have the amazing performers in our college.

And as I conclude this, I realize that the song playing in my earphone has stopped. Well imagining itself has relieved so much of stress from office already. I wonder how much fun it would have been if this would have been a reality for us in college. Allu Arjun is truly a dance guru, and has the best of the talents inside him. The hero from Arya , Arya 2 and many other hits, is a man of capability to perform marvelously and so is Anushka.

I am blogging for #MaxFreshMove activity atBlogAdda.com. Are you?

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Brain-sick's Diary #5

Life has offered varieties. Varieties in people, in their behavior, in their culture, and with this lies the varied experiences of ours. Experience is carved not just from our own endeavors, but it is also accompanied by the culture we are infused into. You may be protesting, not accepting the culture that surrounds you, but the survival for existence always stays at the top most priority in your list. Survival for existence is after all so natural. Lets not just blame humans only. Its prevalent across all forms of life that exists. And this is the survival for existence that pushes you to adapt. Adapt to the culture, to the surrounding which is not so acceptable to you otherwise.

He has adapted to the culture too. The learning curve was steep. But at the end the least that he could have achieved was to get used to with this culture; and he did it. Now he stands firm. The firmness has to be raised even more. Strands of relationships that tend to bind people together; he has doubts on this authenticity. He realizes that relationships are not permanent. Time is a dimension. And every relationship is carved out from time. Clock ticks, relationship tricks. He learnt to try not to be tricked. To keep trying is very important.

Where is the happiness? Well, the happiness is omnipresent. Happiness is God. If you believe, God is everywhere. If you don’t believe, you can’t find God. So is the happiness. And to add to this crude thought, here is an important quote : “Happiness is indeed a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experience.”

His struggle is on; his endeavors to find solace, to find God, to find happiness.

June 12th, 2015.

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The Tea Seller

I prefer to have my desk by the window side. This helps me to think. May be I am thinking for a story, may be for my research work, or may be just thinking about something abstract. I love to sit back and just think about something randomly. Sitting by the window helps me. I recently got an opportunity to work as an intern at Indian Statistical Institute, Kolkata, to work on development of Iterative Dichotomizer Algorithm. Jhunuk da, the lab assistant here is an elderly person. He has helped me a lot to get my desk settled. I was being offered the cabin along with other interns, but I preferred to sit in a silent corner of the computer lab. And Jhunuk da helped me get my request approved from officials. There are a lot of rules here. I forget many, but Jhunuk da is always here to remind me about them and do my things accordingly.

The window by my desk has a frame which reminds of British days in India, and these are quite common in Kolkata. Through the closed window too, sun rays penetrate and fall at my desk in the morning. The window is east facing. When I am struck at my code, I peep through the window, and it amazes me with the vintage look of the city in hustle. I and Jhunuk da, we love to sit together by the window and enjoy our evening tea. The chai wallah who comes with tea for us has his shop outside the institute, and he has very good friendship with Jhunuk da. Jhunuk da has always helped him in his needs; he discussed these with me during our chai breaks. Jhunuk da is very sensitive guy. He actually feels for him, and tries his best to do all which he can.

‘He has to marry his girl child. She is nineteen now.’

‘I see. So he needs to find a groom for her?’ I inquired.

‘He has already found one. He is just arranging enough money for the marriage.’ Jhunuk da replied.

‘Dowry?’

‘No No. The family of groom has not asked for dowry. He is worried for the marriage costs. You see everything is so costly now. He hardly earns anything…’ The anxiety was easily visible on his face.

These conversations homed inside my head, and echoed from time to time. It was two or three days later that in one of my tea breaks with Jhunuk da, I suggested something.

‘Dada, why not collect some funds for the marriage?’

‘Whose marriage, chai wallah’s daughter’s?

 ‘Yes’ I said.

‘Umm. Yes we can… But who will agree to pay?’ he asked me.

‘See. I will go to other interns and ask them to pay as per their wish, for the marriage. I am sure they will contribute something.’

‘We can try…’ Jhunuk da replied.

...

The chai wallah came to my desk few weeks later. He handed me the wedding invitation. He was very happy. He shaked hands with me. His happiness was beyond any explanation. It made me think that I will be a father too. I will have to marry my daughter, may be then I would be feeling the same as he is feeling today. From my desk he moved to Jhunuk Da’s desk. He did not know that we had contributed funds for the wedding of his daughter. Jhunuk da did not want him to know this. He trusted Jhunuk da, and would take his help only. He had a lot of self-respect. What he knew was that Jhunuk da gave sufficient funds for the marriage.

I unfolded the wedding card, and felt contented to read the scheduled wedding date. I felt satisfied of having done something good. I never came to know what was the name of that chai wallah, until I read his name on the card. His name was ‘Dhani Chandra Ghosh’.  

"I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdeal activity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal."

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The Lunch Box

The class was as usual decked up with concepts of physics all around. The teacher kept drawing pulleys, and did all the hardship to pull it applying necessary forces, but I was lost somewhere else. Not that I was not interested in physics, and not that I was very much interested in our lady physics teacher like my friends; unlikely I was struck in those words which Priya had for me the day before. 

I was coming out from canteen that day, triumphant about the fact that I managed to buy two samosas. I always failed at it, as I used to give up the fight in the queue-less stampede at canteen each day. School authorities ceased their authoritarian and disciplinary actions at canteen I doubt. As I stepped out from the stampede, trying to wipe of the sauce that spilled a bit on my white uniform shirt, I found Priya standing in front of me. Her innocent eyes looked bleak. I stood there still, and watched her. I never had courage to speak to girls.

I chose to move out, and not to speak to her, as usual this time again. But as I moved past her, she called my name. With a jolt within, my mind capitulated, ‘she knows my name’.

‘Aarush, I had to get samosas, but you see the crowd there at the counter.’

‘Hmmm? Umm… Oh… I see’, this was all that I replied.

‘Do you know anyone there in the crowd at the counter? If you know, then please hand over this money to him.’

‘Actually… I don’t know anyone there. They are not from our class’, I said. ‘By the way, how many… Umm… how many samosas do you want?’ I added some more with my voice almost afraid to come out.

‘One’, she chirped.

‘You see, I have already had my lunch. I wanted one samosa too, but the counter guy didn’t have change so he gave me two.’

‘Would you like to have… I mean if you like, the one from mine?’, and as I said it seemed my heart would come out from my chest.

‘You are not hungry?’ she asked.

‘No. I had my lunch from the tiffin my mom prepared for me.’

She looked at me with her face showing her hesitation. She moved in order to pick one, but retraced her steps soon. She looked at me again. This time she smiled wide, and then she broke into laughter. It was a feeling so heavenly to watch her laugh; she was so beautiful.

She moved forward and picked one samosa, ‘Thanks’, she said.

While we snacked, she kept talking. She said that her mother was sick. And so she didn’t let her cook for the school tiffin. She would take the meal from school canteen, she had assured to her mother.

‘It would be two-three days more like this; I would have to come to canteen.’

‘Hmm…’, this was all that I could reply along with my smile.

And the other day, when I was in class waiting for the period to end, with all my attention towards Priya and the talk that we had, there was something cooking inside my head too. Just before five minutes from tiffin break, I asked my teacher for an excuse to let me go to washroom, with my constipated face at her disposal. My facial expression inferred to her that she had no choice left but to allow me.

I came out of classroom, and rushed to the canteen.

Priya came ten minutes later. She waited at the canteen gate; probably she was looking for someone in the crowd who might help her buying the meal. I went near, and from her back I called her name. She turned, and saw me standing, with both my hands holding a plate with two samosas. I bought one for her, and one for myself.

‘Hey. Did you leave the class with an excuse for samosas?’

‘Yes’, I said energetically.

‘Why didn’t you buy two for each one of us?’ she inquired.

‘You have one, and I will have one too. And then we will share from my tiffin. I had asked my mom to give more food today. I explained that as your mom was sick, so…’ And then I smiled.

What all followed next till the present day is something which I will not pen down here. But, let me share something special with you all. I and Priya are getting engaged on 27^th of April this year. The ceremony is going to held at my residence; GA 25, White Lake, Kolkata. You all are invited. (smiles)

"I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdeal activity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal."

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Collecting Happiness...

Happiness is a feeling, a feeling so warm that it makes us forget all the troubles in our lives for a while. I call it for a while because troubles tend to take over the happiness very soon. The extent of happiness is always decided by us. Though happiness cannot be measured, it’s just a feeling; however we make it big and we make it small. But for the while when emotions of happiness curl us within, don’t we feel ourselves freed and relieved from all unnecessary clutches in our lives? I wish if this feeling could persist throughout, always, in each and every moment that we live.

I look around myself, and I see ample number of reasons to be happy. The moment I stop seeing, I start to feel low. I need to clean by spectacles, wash my face, and then look around again. This time I find some reasons to be happy which I overlooked in my previous attempts. I feel enthralled to have found them and lucky because I know there would be many for whom these reasons either don’t exist or are not applicable. I still enjoy reading comics, I read TinTin, Tinkle, Chacha Chowdhury and many more. This may be a joke for a few, but it is special for me. Having found an unseen Chacha Chowdhury comic book at a small bookstore makes me enormously happy. But as I said, happiness is just a feeling, and in this case I make it huge (laughing). 

The God of small things has blessed me with a lot of happiness. When I bought a Parker pen for myself from my first salary, the happiness was beyond any explanation. Now after almost six months of my job, I bought a pen-pencil (laughing loudly). Pen-pencils are not common these days, but when I was in class four, they were very famous. I saw one at a stationary shop where I went to buy ink cartridges for my printer. Now my new pen-pencil rests proudly in my pen holder. Every time I look there, my face shows a smile. I may not use it, but to have procured it made me happy. 

Five days of stressful work in office, which often spans to 6 on some weeks, there it is essentially required to have at least one day off for complete refreshment. My friends might prefer to go to pub and then crash at a Chinese restaurant on sundays, but I have a completely different taste for my refreshment. I prefer to get a full plate biryani packed from Jai Jawan Dhaba, and enjoy it with 600 ml bottle of Coca-Cola at my home. I enjoy more this way, it feels good to be myself. When you are yourself and not faking to be someone else, then only you will explore what the God of small things has left for us. 

I was inspired to write this post by Coca-Cola India. Here I have shared a wonderful ad by them. #Iamappy

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