Heart Beats

Heart needs love. It might lie that it doesn’t, but even the strongest of its kind needs love. The love that heart seeks is above kindness, and pity offered due to assumed depravity of the seeker. Love is the language that hearts chose to speak in midst of multi lingual existence around. Words from mouth can have different forms and different intentions to trick hearts. Through tides of time, heart has been tricked so often that gradually they have stopped talking to each other. They are now allowed to meet only out of pity and kindness for one another. 

Heart has desires. Desires that are afraid to escape from mouths, desires which are constrained within complex control of brains, they thrive inside hearts safely. The desire that’s taboo to the world is dear to someone’s heart. For heart has never learnt to discriminate, it homes desires of all kinds. Desires are slaves to brain, and to the societal values. They are cared for by their sole protector, their guard who packs them safely within thick thumping walls. Desires may get punished, but are never killed by their guard. 

Heart is pure. Heart is whiter than the whitest pearl that the mankind ever witnessed. White catches dirt easily. Is it the fault of white that it’s fairest of all? In the rampage where hearts are made to run, it’s evident that splashes of blood will spill out, and spill onto, hiding the purity that hearts have. The neighborhood is cold. The warmth of togetherness is a history that jargons play in their songs to bring attention and fame. Hearts know to sing too. But who will cure these ears which are audile to jargons’ dissonance only.

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Brain-sick's Diary #3 >> Cold Emotions

I am swimming in a pool of thoughts. In a silent room, doors closed, panes in windows shut, and lights from my laptop screen is the only source; unveiling a part of my face, more of my hands on the keyboard. With denial of connection somehow with brains, here is something my heart wants to spill out. Its my birthday today. And I am wondering, why did the God select me for my mom. Could this not have happened that some other baby was lucky enough to get into my mom’s womb? Why it was me?
There are questions that are unanswerable. Then I wonder why do such questions have to exist, when answers to them are never found. My mind throttles deep down into such thoughts, mesmerizing me with unanswerable questions.
On my headphone, its Coldplay playing… 'Fix you'.

‘When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse…

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?’

How true this song is. I cant explain the sufferings, affection that got killed, in course of events that I faced and left them behind on my timeline. But somewhere, I lie struck in reverse. Is the past so dear that we tend to overlook the pleasant and optimistic present? The formidable past, that’s what heart believes, keeps poking from under the veil of sewn stitches. 

It has been quite a span, and I haven’t come up here with a post that’s significant. It was this song by Coldplay, that pushed my fingers onto the keyboard, and pinned down emotions of abstract blend on my blog.

I have been busy with my work, my college, my tries at photography and in mesh of complex thoughts. But I expect to come back here with colors in poetry… 

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