I always wake up, and my breath becomes heavy. As of
now, I am still feeling heavy, as tattered notes from the last dream come across my mind. And for past four years, waking up, and facing the reality has
actually hurt. The cold realization, that I am still there, from where everyone
else moved away, sets inside me slowly. I am not fond of waking up. And I tend
to sleep, even when I am not asleep. Waking up from your dreams, and waking up
from your sleep, I take these two things separately. I have set my own ways of treatment
with them.
I am afraid, but optimistic locutions don’t impress me.
Whenever I have tried to apply them, they have lead me to nowhere but lost
away in vain. Why do people greet the day with smiles? Are they escaping from
the simple truth? Today is a cold reminder. It’s one day later than yesterday,
one year later than last year. And sooner or later, the destined one will come.
But I dare not express these. I need to polish myself each day, so that I may
not yell out everything that I have kept inside.
I have been a heap of thoughts and convicted feelings that
bring me rejection. Rejection has been a part of my life, and I faced it more
than acceptance. The one writing this is the real one. It takes me sometime,
each day, to turn what I am in front of people. It takes courage to hide the
storm inside you. And once you have spilled out the storm, you ruin your
relationships. I have ruined mine. I have untied all the knots that used to
bind me. People won’t like to get drenched in your stuffs that don’t suit them.
