Saturday, November 3, 2012


I always wake up, and my breath becomes heavy. As of now, I am still feeling heavy, as tattered notes from the last dream come across my mind. And for past four years, waking up, and facing the reality has actually hurt. The cold realization, that I am still there, from where everyone else moved away, sets inside me slowly. I am not fond of waking up. And I tend to sleep, even when I am not asleep. Waking up from your dreams, and waking up from your sleep, I take these two things separately. I have set my own ways of treatment with them.

I am afraid, but optimistic locutions don’t impress me. Whenever I have tried to apply them, they have lead me to nowhere but lost away in vain. Why do people greet the day with smiles? Are they escaping from the simple truth? Today is a cold reminder. It’s one day later than yesterday, one year later than last year. And sooner or later, the destined one will come. But I dare not express these. I need to polish myself each day, so that I may not yell out everything that I have kept inside.

I have been a heap of thoughts and convicted feelings that bring me rejection. Rejection has been a part of my life, and I faced it more than acceptance. The one writing this is the real one. It takes me sometime, each day, to turn what I am in front of people. It takes courage to hide the storm inside you. And once you have spilled out the storm, you ruin your relationships. I have ruined mine. I have untied all the knots that used to bind me. People won’t like to get drenched in your stuffs that don’t suit them.


As I look into my photographs, those that were shot four years back, I don’t believe that was me. I saw an expression of predicament now in the mirror. Not a character of melodrama, rather a game where I am being played. But sooner or later, the destined one will come. I know what is the future going to be.

Even though you are sinking, people who plunged you into water will expect you to come out from there all by yourself. They would expect you to remain connected with them, by a new name and form for that newer relationship. The broken heart is the most strong. It can withstand more than what you can ever imagine. So it doesn't need support of people’s falsehood. Is there fear inside people that make them do so? I am not feared; neither of present, nor of the future. I am not even afraid of growing old and being alone. Sooner or later, the destined one will come. And no one escape from it. The Death!

3 comments

You know, Anshul, I always say one thing - you can't break a broken heart any more than what it is.
Toote hue ko aur kya todoge?
I feel sad reading this post..

Am not able to comment successfully - the recapture image is unreadable!! Pls take it off :(

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Thanks Punam di for stopping by. Actually, I was myself sad while scribbling this post. I preferred to scribble it here rather than explaining it to my closed ones.

Although I had kept Captcha set in On mode just for security reasons, but I am setting it off if it is causing this much trouble. :)

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Thanks a tonnneee!! OK I am still entering the code. :)

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