Something unusual has happened. Something that is pulling me into
despair. Something which is clenching me in the fist of depression; a
depression of a kind whose origin lies veiled. Only my senses are reactive
towards the rhetoric discussions I have been raising inside me. Perceptions I
envisage is pulling me apart with a force that can uproot a living strong tree,
that can bring to the grounds tombs of giant mega structures, that can explode
away a town with nuke energy. I don’t know
the specific reason. I just witness the unusualness.
Interests are getting suppressed. Things that used to be my
passion (which they still are, but have gone under hibernation) are also
getting dim in my arena. I go through early pages of my life, and I feel
surprised on the changes I underwent. In the isolation, in the separate space
where I have dragged myself into, I keep juggling thoughts and beliefs that
have burst out from nowhere. Why does this happen? No clues.
Facebook? Twitter? G+? I have quit almost all of them. I used
to be one of the most active person on social media websites. Though I never
run out of plots for short stories and poetry, but increased intimacy with the unusualness
has slackened the will to perform, to write them on my blog. Why am I writing
all this crap right now? I am only scribbling my heart on pages of my open diary just to
bookmark this day, and when I will look back again in distant future, I will
try to feel the worst unusualness that I have experienced. Why does this
happen? No clues.
Friendship which is considered to be the most sacred
relationship (I haven’t seen, I read in books) never crosses my way. It might
be that I am very stiff at my attitude and consequently this relationship never
intersected into my way. I have always tried to mix with people, tried to get
to know them, tried to weave strands of solidarity with the people whom I connected
with. But I have failed each time. Love? Does it exist? I have only seen
unusualness.
This unusualness is intensifying with each passing day. If I could ever get to reach its origin, I
will surely bring myself out of this labyrinth, killing the evil spree to
death.