Vividity

Few things I don’t see. Eyes work and brain responds too; but still few things intimidate me, deceive me and offer challenges not true. Lines in my book I read, but meanings I incarnate make my heart glue, even the story characters I misjudge and climax the end forcibly not true. But I don’t draw back, I continue…
I impose faith on imposters blurred in my visions. They are pickpockets, but love in their caresses I guess. Their shrewdness I appreciate, their words fly me high and to land back on ground I don’t get any modes true. Appreciation I give to them, or is it delusion I bathe in?
I conjecture my journey is on a car, the car that would drive me happy. Relaxation on my face seems visible, even though the car tank remains empty.
But I don’t draw back, I continue…

The time tides me with ups and downs and makes me aware of what lied inside the crown. I slow down; I realize how I have come along. This was not what I had proposed, certainly not which I always disposed. 

Story in my book seems to be waste; characters in vain and their roles with no tastes. Their ends seem not possible; just a pile of pages with scribbling of an untamed writer. 

People are jealous, they misguide me. They don’t wish to see me reach my goal.

And why I am still on this car? I chose the wrong car; probably it was never meant for me. On a cart of perplexity rather, I am on a journey that was meant to drive me insane with its fuel tank nearly empty. I stop, and reverse my path…

Experiences shower on me, make me bright and cheer me colorful. But I get matured and low on energy. I realize that things were just made for me. My eyes saw them good and brain traced them true, I realize. 

Even the incarnated meanings were true and so were characters in my story book. The best climax I could have seen if I continued to read, I realize. 

People were good too, they tried to understand me and helped me with the best they could have done. I should have offered them respect, I realize.

The car was perfect for me and happiness was true. I should have traversed few miles more, fuel station was near. My journey could have completed if I never looked back. I regret, I realize…

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Forget Me Not

"You are in my every wish. Your essence lies in every prayer that I make. In the ocean where I am drowning alone, tears with your names in them lie blended. The rising tides and falling health doesn’t disassemble my love, my love for you. You still pulsate in my veins with a rhythm that has always fascinated me. The deepness in your eyes still overpowers my visions and prevents me to face the reality; the reality, in which your fingers don’t fill spaces between mine; the reality, which you chose to gift me with. And in this reality too, mirrors reflect me as the one which I used to be years back. Only innocence I have lost, my child in me I have lost…Our child we have lost."

"I don’t blame you, I blame me. I blame the God who diverted our paths in a way that our journey became different. I blame the flowers that sucked our emotions from us. I blame that jealous breeze which couldn’t synchronize with the melody that our conversations used to bring. I blame that rainbow which shied from the vibgyor our smiles created together after we ended our quarrels. And I blame those every moment which envied me and fought with me, carried away you so far; so far that I am afraid to consider if we will ever meet again." 

"This day owns a snap of yours in me, in a corner of my heart which is invincible. My lifeline runs through those veins whose walls have impressions of that snap. The air I breathe circulates and preserves your belongings inside me. I continue to live for I have promised few memoirs that I will make things better; those things that weren’t at place earlier which made us part. I have to contemplate; I have to succeed those paths I wasn’t aware of earlier. Your lost possessiveness for me gives me strength, and I move on. I move on to be a man that you would have thought I must be. And I pray for your wellbeing, for your happy sun gleaming. This day is special for me, because you were meant to be a part of me…always!"




-An Imaginary Cloud's note that was dying to burst

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Eternal Beauty

I admire the beauty if it exists, which would depict an inheritance of my individuality, amidst my blanked out identity; a kind that belongs to me, an accomplice to my soul's anatomy.
Like the pearls shine, white and pure, still unnoticed, subdued in disdain, my beauty lies coated.
I wait, with pains stitched through patience; I don’t bleed like the pearls don’t sweat.
I wait; someday a soul mate will come to plow the sand dunes, to take away the pearls that lie on the way. Then I will be sculptured near someone’s heart, like the pearls will necklace around with love.

I admire the beauty if it exists, which would let me see even when there prevails the darkest dark.
Like the fireflies blink, some far and some near, a timid melody blinks my mind and says a beauty stand by me. I look; with thrills sailing in my veins, drums percussing on my chest, I search the truth in twilight.
I look through my open window, where fluorescence enters and fills emptiness in my eyes. And there I witness a beauty in disguise.

Why a beauty hides in disguise? Why not it pulsates and waves its original vibes? For if beauty is veritable, why doesn’t it finds its accomplice. Why it remains lost and hitches in hands of dust. The extent of hitches has furthered its boundary. My every lookup, every searching ends at obscured vicinity. I lie dormant with no trace for my pair.

Now I want to announce that beauty doesn’t exist. But my heart foolish throbs for it; few impressions of illusions lie forged on the walls. Like the pearls burn in heat under the weight of sand dunes, I glow in flames driven by hopes in my eyes. I want to end my hopes too. But still...
Still, when the heat around churns to near death, snoring thunder in sky reminds of beauty in rains.
And then evokes admirations for a soul mate, who will wash away the heat, and pick up the pearls. I will be sculptured too near someone’s heart, like the pearls will necklace around with love...
                                                                                       
                                                                                        ....And the search for eternal beauty continues

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Take Me Away

Take me away with you

Where warmth of the sand lies

Amidst stillness of lake blue

Where fishes dance

And birds romance

In their songs of enduring verity

They gift me a heart reincarnated

Take me away with you

Where smiles flourish with fruits

Morality manifolds

And circles in roots

Where wind breezes

Stormy undulations exist no longer

Where symphony soothes

Thunder ceases and showers splendor.

Take me away with you

Where my childhood lies

Down the memory lane

Materialized notes again arrive

And in them I could be free

With purity in my soul

My voice would be clean.

Take me away with you

Where all my dreams lie dew

Homes lovely fairies of goodness

My grandma called them true

I want to live and see the goodness

That I never felt

That I never knew.

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An Engineered Snap

I wanted to be an Engineer…But I couldn't get a reputed college. :(
Engineering is one of the most sought branches of education that Indian students prefer. And from the state where I belong to, Bihar, it’s a culture there to dream about getting into IITs, right from the time when students are in their secondary school level classes. But due to huge cutoff of marks, from some reservation related disheartening pricks and because of few cases of bad luck, dreams don’t turn into reality, and such dreams get homed in million hearts with a forget me not note. I happened to be one of them who have faced this. But IITs can never be the ultimate destination. The talent and capabilities you gather through studying Engineering is what the ultimate destination is.

What you had thought? Engineering is going to be so easy?
Once you get into an Engineering college, your hard time starts. The time gets hard because students turn cruel towards themselves, towards their dreams. A stay away from home, with cheers from friends and handful cigarettes with brownish ends, they tip toe on the path they assume to be amusing. With few more inputs, rises addiction; new areas of conversation, new heights of incision. Grooming yourself the right way among such a culture which gallantly exists in Engineering Colleges can be hectic. But it’s a task you must accomplish. Apart from this, other major bullets fired on students comprise from the gun of ‘Time Management’. You need to do loads of things – Classes, Practicals, Projects, Presentations, Assignments, Movies, Outings, Counter Strike matches, Love-Affairs and innumerable other things too. And if you still get some time left from 24 hours well, then you self-study.  Cruel time span when ill managed, it curses students very bad. :( Life inside, when looked from outside, always look magnificent. But the inside story is totally different. If you are an Engineer or an Engineering student then you would be knowing this very well. :P

You must get to know me…Warna main aathon semester tak tumhara jeena haram kar dunga…

You do whatever you like. You can also afford not to study and get few backs in some semester papers. But kindly never get into any kind of trouble with any of your college’s professors/lecturers. :D
This is the first proposition that you must know before you enter into an Engineering college. If you consider not to follow this regulation, then very soon you will get know the setbacks in one way or the other. It is proven and tested formula. :D

Life is full of fun and learning too...

Keeping the bad things aside, let’s look the bright side of life in an Engineering college. The four years will sweep out like the sand escapes from your grip. Lot many numbers of mistakes you will realize and they will form learning and experiences for you. Jerks and shocks make you walk on edgy rocks. Moments of fun do come; may be huge, or maybe it could be some. But at the end of four years I am sure that you will make a collage; a collage of fun you had, not the hardships you faced.

I am going to make a collage too when I end my fourth year. I am still in the middle of my journey; two more years are yet to go. I wish to live my life to the fullest here. :)

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SCATHE

In your stream of meanings, my being in them has changed. In fake hives where your verity lies, your words for me have changed.

Your bare hands I used to hold, tender and soft, in my bask cajoled. In young gloves of perfidy, yours hold on mine has changed.

For grooves in your hair brown, new fingers you have arranged. In shade of blue in your eyes, impressions of mine black have changed.

In all these time skips, trend on your lips, for my name has changed. Beats for me, the place for me in your heart has changed.

Honey! I am still the same; a harebrained, your lover insane. Every knock on my heart sees you, your existence unchanged.

My arms still lie open, to have you back in them. My lungs lie dormant with smoke, looking for your breathe to inhale, to grasp your love unchanged.

I care not where you have reached; I am still there where you left. I am waiting for you in my life deranged, caressing my angel, in your photo unchanged.

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Untitled Love

The wind had smell

A propitious flavor to inhale

When the sky wasn’t blue

Walked there an angel

Her wings were glowing too

A girl in pink

I was in love... I think!

Her golden earrings dance

Blew my mind, lost in trance

Coiffed were her hair brown

And her smoky eyes frown

Often showed dulcet blink

I was in love... I think!

She moved forth

My heart followed

Acting like a tween

People around stood still

Cut in yellow, carmine and green

Then came a symphony  sync

I was in love... I think!

A call, her phone said

Her feet tiptoed, lips moved

Bright red, on the white bed

I saw her finger; a jewel blazing

A kinship; a wedding ring glaring

Sank my heart tween

And even at its bursting brink

I was in love... I think!

Vanished the smell and its flavor

The sky turned back blue

No wings to do the favor

People moved, started the rite

Path trodden, in black & white

No tears! Just little eyes shrink

But I was in love... I think!

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I Am The God

They are all voids
Where you lay,
Shallow are the rivulets
Where you play,
Where the light is faint
And every heart has dent,
Where the honesty is said rude
And cruelty implies being dude.
Do you remember,
The last window you broke?
Not with stones;
With words you spoke.
You have worked hard
And turned rich,
You followed the ways
That preached the leech.
You built ‘homes’ for yourselves,
And ‘houses’ for elderly.
But your homes have voids
And there you lay,
Shallow are the rivulets
And there you play.

You printed my preaching,
Gathered them in Bible
In Gita and Quran,
And raged wars in babel.
I had loved you all,
Never let you ever fall.
I wonder about the courage
You packed in your luggage,
And about the demons you gather,
You turn devilish and raging
And disloyal to your father.
I watch you all
Like a film in a roll,
You haven’t reached heights
And still survive in a burrow.
Your home still have voids
And there you lay,
Shallow are the rivulets,
And there you play….

[I wrote this for Blognostics long ago. I shared it now on my own site. :)]

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