Power

He lies there, depressed in all ways.

Strangled on his neck, 

Tied is harsh and sick relationship band.

He who dreamt of kissing angelic love,

Now hauls in dirt, barely alive, cursed with antipathy.

His heart and breath, which have averted their sync,

Want the game to end, want to end all the blame.

But it’s his hope that’s pushing,

His will to not die, but win over.

Amidst the rage of the storm, 

Thin candle wants to stay strong and lighted.

For spreading love and light is braver,

Than to seek for them simply.

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My College Life - Phase 1

10^th of August 2010, the day was. We had our orientation ceremony at college’s auditorium. From the next day our classes were to begin. I was late by two days. I couldn’t attend the orientation day neither could I attend the first class of my first semester. I came to know about that orientation ceremony when my mates narrated me later. Few called it boring, like every auditorium function that I am seeing since then, but few called that very much fascinating it was. I can understand; college organizes a function and that also to welcome the first years, so they are most likely going to like it, not because it is good at entertaining them or pertaining to their academics but because of the zeal and energy first year has. I couldn’t be there to watch so I shall not comment much on it. 'BCET' printed on a pen we got, and a letter from our director. The letter had a context in which he told us not to be oversensitive. It did contain few things more, but this very one I can’t forget anyhow, at least after seeing whatever I have seen till now in college.

That was not the first time when I was to live away from home. I was in Bansal Classes, Kota, for one year. Preparations and attention towards my goal couldn’t lead me to glory. I dreamt of ‘Kharagpur’ and fell in ‘Durgapur’ at last. I was very shy to accept that I was there in Kota when people in college asked me where I did the preparation. Not shy but very much shameful I used to feel talking about it. Now I have learnt to accept my defeat.  And I don’t hesitate telling them. It is not that now I have turned shameless. It is so because I have learnt to accept the truth.

There was one thing that worried me the most. I had never shared my room with anybody. I am doing that very well now. But then things were different; I was different. I was not sure of how I would be adjusting with someone I didn’t know, with someone whose nature I was not sure of what kind it was. I met him in the evening, his name is Sheikh Nehar, and he is still my roommate. He is a decent guy. I never had anything to complain about him the entire first year. There are several memorable moments that we have seen together, and we are still seeing.:)
After I settled my bags and baggage in my wardrobe, I went for a shower. The journey of 1147 miles was very much tiring and I was almost sapped out. I thought of having a shower. I can’t figure out what actually was over me then. I entered the bathroom and I cried. I cried loud in shower but not loud enough to get heard outside. I was missing my mom, my dad. I was thinking where I had reached. It was not worth for what I did. There were so many things for which I found myself culprit. Water splashes mingled with my tears and tried to lessen its presence, and then entered a silent part of me into me, that did the secret discussions whenever I was lonely. That silent part is still within me...

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The Butterfly

On an ivory shade with some brown threaded marks; masked is my body meek and weak, popped out into two bright wing arcs.

And on my wings azure, lie mustered shapes and some tiny little dots; some lucid little hills and some round yellowish sprouts.

I never knew how I looked and what amativeness I had, until you came into my life with my image in your blue eyes clad.

I surmise my colors are no more blazoned; I haven’t seen myself since you had left, my charm left too with my mirror embossed on your eyes pinioned.

Now in the silence of my solitariness few chirruping I hear; what do they say, I can’t make out its meaning neither you can hear it clear.

On dry tongue of mine your sweetness is still alive; a flavor not to forget from our nibbling kisses; the scent of your embrace around my life.

How we lived together is a distant memory dainty; my hold on you and yours on mine; exchange of our gestures in doziness of wine.

Nowhere to live I have now but in memories of you, and in all those moments where we were together-a colored me & a colored you.

Lie they say that the most beautiful I am, nature’s worthy gift & spring’s charm I am; Truth I say that without you a dead musk I am, a bleached spot with no shine I am.

And before I die, a glimpse of yours I need; my last breath shall be the aroma of my love, of my lovely butterfly.

(©) ANSHUL GAUTAM'S

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I will come back

A kind of attachment I grow

Where ever I live,

My vacant hostel reminds something

And I dont wanna leave,

This is so, I believe.

However sweet the home is,

A kind of being myself is here,

Like the bolt on the door is.

And I have locked the door

with somebody inside,

And thats my lonely piece there,

Hauling its roar

Calling my name wide.

Why is it so sad

Among the smiles on the pad?

Hey! I will come back,

Wait for me,

Look for my imprints on rack.

I will turn,

With every setting sun,

For you only

My partner at my lonely.

Hey! I will come back. 

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I Am Alone...

On a crowded road,

I walked aside;

They leapt past me,

My existence at hide;

And then escaped a moan,

I am alone…

I got worried,

With their turmoil and despair;

I extended my hands to help,

But they cut them in pair;

And then cried the unfair loan,

I am alone…

I played the game,

Snubbed their rules wicked,

With my rules of moral fame;

But I lost and fell;

And then pained my broken bone,

I am alone…

I fell in love,

With a girl my first;

But she moved away,

Left my heart to burst;

And then screamed my heart sewn,

I am alone…

I don’t know,

How do I feel;

I don’t know,

What’s in the reel;

But then says my mind blown,

I am alone…

Copyrights - ANSHUL GAUTAM'S

Images in this post - Google Images Search

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I Found A Lonely Me...

Feeble dimmed steps,

Irradiated my eyes

Quilt’s beneath;

Awakened me

From lust in ream,

And broke the infatuated dream.

I moved to see,

I heard some heart throbs;

I found a lonely me.

It looked like day;

Or may be moonlight,

I say.

Fog with desire,

Impounded with ire,

Showed its love,

On my glassy window;

Their sexual intimacy,

Was there at show;

Passion in their cosmos,

Which I couldn’t mow.

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