Going forward through a new start...

It has been a month since my last blog post. Many new things popped up inside my head, but the creative tides got short of the extremely stronger gravitation pull, and that kept everything still…just a little hoo-ha came to the front. 

What was I exactly doing in this one month?

I left Durgapur on 5th of June. I am no more a college student now. I graduated officially from my college on 25th of June 2014. Ever since I joined college, I dreamt of scoring 9 pointer. It was a bliss even to think of being called a ‘nine pointer’ and don’t know how it felt to be one. I enjoyed this bliss to the fullest till I completed my second year engineering. After that I started to take pride in my reality. The result of 8th semester which evidently graduated me came out on 25th and there it was 9.04 on my grade card. Hard work for my final year project finally paid off. But this was not the reason for my disappearance from my blog. I was low on my health. More than the health itself, I was tensed thinking many bad possibilities associated with it. All the self-motivating stuffs loose their essence on me when my hyperactive brain starts churning. I wish to get well soon, and I am trying my best from my part for it.

And there was a good news too behind my disappearance.

After I graduated with title of Er. Anshul Gautam, as a token of appreciation (this is more than just a token, it’s huge for me) Papa gifted Nikon D5100 to me. It came with 18-55mm kit lens. Now being an owner of DSLR, a tool to open all doors of photographic skills, I am more than happy. It was a dream. It has come true now. I clicked lots of pictures and practiced various controls on the new cam. I will buy a zoom lens soon, probably 55-200mm one. I will be joining TCS and my salary will help me for the new lens, but till then I will stick to 18-55mm one.

An important lesson.

I spent my four years for engineering. I learnt innumerable lessons. The most important lesson I recall at this moment is: 'We should never let our own goodness die, no matter what killing spree is against us'. Endurance against the harsh blows of outsiders must be attained to safeguard the inner peace and sanity. Sanity is in preserving goodness, never making it escape from  our inside in the darkness of unlikelihood around us. I shall never forget this lesson, and will keep chanting at every time of need. 

(...among the first few shots taken from my camera)

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A House at the Grange

Since ages I haven’t been asleep in the lap of insouciance. It has been so long since I was at my home, the place where I grew up. In the ‘Nest’ of ‘Love’, my childhood bloomed. Where birds came and lived and became part of my evening plays, that is my home.

Every morning it was chatter of birds in balcony that woke me up. Their tore up feathers I collected, and preserved them so I could remember them even after they left. Tickle of my small fingers on the feathery head is still afresh in the memory. Where I lived lovingly, that is my home.

By the shade of the back wall in the compound, I recited poems in the afternoon. I weaved stories and played my role with conceit. Mamma’s words went unheard and my plays continued in the blazing sun. Where life was carefree, that is my home.

I don’t wish to win the rat race now; I set myself free from all the responsibilities. I want to travel to the place that soothes me with belongingness. I want to soak myself in the rain of memories from my childhood. Where I will heal myself, that is my home.

Photographs were shot by Canon SX150, Point and Shoot camera. If you liked the photographs, please like the Facebook page. 

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Music Rewinds

Mai rahe, meenaa rahe, gardish mein paimaanaa rahe

Mere saaqi tuu rahe aabaad maikhana rahe...

I see a small kid, looking through the window. For him, having a look through window was itself a dream; a window that would allow to see outside. The window in his room allows to see till the horizon, no one lies in between except for green grasses, shrubs and birds playing. Holes in the window seldom make a whirling noise as the riotous but usual wind flows through them. Having no one to play, and with holidays at school, most of the time of his days are spent on imagining stories and his wishes getting fulfilled in them. He was the hero in all of his stories, the one who rules with all his wishes turning true.

Music plays always, at least always when the electricity is there at his home. The least understanding of his about the music, and even less about the rarest ghazals sung by Jagjit Singh, it does not bore him of staying surrounded by this aliened ambience. Immense meaning in the music never settled down his gut, but the soft tunes he remembers. He remembers tune in every track, and to some extent their words too. When no one is around, he mumbles those ghazals with somewhat original words and a little mixed with his own creations but the tune stays strictly the same. He has warmth for collecting memories. But what can be the best place to keep memories other than connecting them with music?

I see the kid has grown up into a man. Sitting by the balcony of his three storeys house, he is playing those tracks again. He now understands those words and immense meaning that Jagjit Singh carried in his ghazals. But he misses his old Tape Recorder, the kind of soft music it played with infrequent buzz and hitching of tape on head and reels. He still remembers every tune, and when no one is around he sings in a low voice. I see tears in those eyes which were once joyous mumbling broken words from the same ghazals. He rewinds the tape of memories hidden in those ghazals. And everything appears to be live before him again. As he leans at the railing of balcony, he reminisce instances of his tinker by the window. The window that allows to see till the horizon, where no one lies in between except for green grasses, shrubs and birds playing. Holes in the window seldom make a whirling noise as the riotous but usual wind flows through them…

Zindagi ka lutf ho udti rahe haradam 'Riaz'

hum hon sheeshe ki pari ho ghar parikhana rahe...

Italicized lines are from the ghazal written by Riaz Khairabadi, and sung by late Shri Jagjit Singh in his album Mirage. You can listen to the track here.

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Adios | BCET

“…when I was in my first year, I was told that the four years of engineering will be over in the blink of an eye. Now, when I am at the verge of completion of my four years of engineering, I can say that yes I have experienced it. These four years swept by so quickly. To me it seems that the four years were one single moment but it carried innumerable stories within it. Every story is fresh and it will be forever.”

The CSE and IT department of our college gave us farewell on May 20, 2014. To receive warm affection from our teachers and a note of motivation for our lives ahead was mesmeric. As this was going to be the last meet of ours with teachers officially, I carried my point and shoot camera with me and captured as many moments that I could. I don’t want any moment to let go off my reach. I want to preserve them, each one of them. But yes, I try to overcome the bad memories at the earliest, failing to do at most of the times though. However, they also make me a more experienced person, a little more learned, but the canvas of imagery you build gets stained with unintended instances in life. The journey of four years at Bengal College of Engineering & Technology had been somewhat a mixture of good and bad experiences which in totality helped me grow. I find there have been a huge number of changes inside me. My seniors helped me to grow, so did my friends, and I can’t forget to mention the role of my teachers in it. Teachers always help you in one way or the other, and trust me, most of the times you won’t even get to notice that they have helped you. In the later stages of life, you realize how important they were. Yesterday, on June 2^nd 2014, we gave the last exam of our B-Tech. After two days I am about to leave Durgapur, and I am filled with emotions towards some of the good teachers I was blessed with.

The starting note in this post is a part of the short speech I gave on the farewell day. I felt honored to get called along with Namrata, my best friend, by our HOD sir Dr.Prof. S Dasgupta to say something in front of the whole CSE & IT family.

“…these four years I was a part of the CSE and IT family. I have to leave now. But I wish to be remembered as a part of this family in the coming future too.”

This ended my speech then but filled me with melancholy. I can go on speaking of my college life endlessly. Most of the things I am backspacing here, probably I will let them out at some later stages of my life.

I want to thank each one and every one of them who were a part of the life I lived here at Durgapur.

Thank You!

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Treasure of Love

This world is a treasure; a treasure that not only has the wealth of love, but wraths of Satan too. Love and Hatred, these two can define each thing and everything that we find on Earth. What definition will mean correctly to us that depends on our state of mind and the essence of time. This world has everything. It’s just that each one of is differently abled and the extent of our sight is accordingly limited. Some can see and feel more while others may lie short and complain. What I can see in the treasure, it’s not necessary that everyone will be able to see. Likewise, what you may discover that might lie unnoticed by me forever. The one who has the limitless extent of sight, that’s the Almighty. And he is the only one, and none other than him is supremely abled. But whatever I can see, whatever you can see, either Love or Hatred defines them. And at one time, only one of the two exists. We need to look closely, and we will find that either we love or we hate. No state other than these we can rather be in.

All of us seek for love. Even if we impart hatred, we seek for love. With everyone of us seeking for love, stealing it indecisively, the treasure is going short of love. The amount of hatred continuously being imparted is making its amount in the treasure stupendous. 

Do you know why did Uncle Scrooge stop swimming in treasures? He was disappointed of skimming over colossal hatred in treasures everywhere. His own treasure at Duckburg that had only Love and no hatred, got stolen long ago.  From all corners of the world, Love is vanishing.

Law of conservation is the call of the time. If you seek love, remember you need to give the same amount of love back to this worldly treasure. Those who don’t pay back this world with love are selfish. And those who seek love, but deliver hatred, they are sons of Satan. To continue to make this place worth living we need to overpower selfish-ers and satan-ers. The early we wake up and realize, better the impact can be brought. 

Love is precious. And there is no alternative for it like we have for coal. Let’s stay human, and continue to spread love.

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If Earth were a cube...

The morning started differently today. Though not at peace, but the weather had calmness in it. As I came near the window of my room, a narrow gush of wind succeeding through the blocks of our hostel from where timid wind rarely coursed caressed my face with the calmness it had. The calmness I always intended to have in me. But the peace is yet to come. Even the weather is not at peace. I can’t see trees from here, but the hasty clouds flowing and roaring above assure that the party outside has started. The dance of trees on the tunes of weather I miss by sitting from here. But the wakeless imagination takes me to every corner of this world. The Earth is round. But in my imagination it’s a cube, the one similar to Rubik’s. It was dismantled initially… it was in form of separate small cubes. The Almighty mantled them in form of a giant cube and gave each of its face a different color. Tiny cubes are sliding away, discombobulating the original structure. What will happen if the earthly cube is completely riddled again?

I stand on a podium, somewhere on a constituting cube and I see in front of me the life I lived so far. I can see till the edge from where it all started. If I go beyond that edge, I will fall off; disappear from this world like I never existed before I was born. I was born 22 years back and my journey started from that edge. Standing from here I can see places where I had been, people whom I met, and transformations I went into. I remember every smell that soil breathed out into the air when rain stroked. I remember the warmth and calmness in the weather that came with every season. I remember all illusions, delusions and in them my mere imaginations. I correlate with nature and its effects on me. Tides of time navigated me on an interesting journey, and at every instance made me aware of making out the path by my own. Others came and helped me improve in many ways. They refined me into a more professional and a mature person. I accepted all courses life had to teach me…Because I wanted to be a better person…I wanted to be a perfectionist.  

Turning myself back, I am moving towards the opposite edge now gradually. The footsteps will continue to advance till the destiny lets me. Although valleys on both the sides haunt me, prevent me from moving by inculcating the terror that I will fall off and vanish. But to have faith and do my part, I have learnt this from mom. I will someday stand at some another constituting cube of this giant earth and look back again. Reminiscing the past and agonizing a better me soothes me with satisfaction. At some another podium I will revert and contemplate how many small cubes I have covered. I forgot to mention, the face of cube where I lie is blue. I love blue.

The edge where I am headed to, what color shall I meet at the brink? I wish to meet yellow. The yellow has energy of the sun, and its life giving traits. I have night’s calmness, the one you witness on the starry night sky at beaches. The brief meeting at the edge before the two of us will fall off would be beautiful. :)

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Having expectations is the trait of a valiant

This is an excerpt from the book 'Manuscript in Accra', by Paulo Coelho. People are asking questions here, answers to which is being explained by the Copt (a learned character in the book). A merchant asks him, ‘Describe the defeated ones’, and the Copt replies. The snippet in the image is a part of that answer. I loved this part because it essentially focuses on having expectations. Yes, like all other traits of a valiant, having expectations is also one of them. It might make us disappointed when something does not come as expected. But to stop expecting in the next go is like letting go off the spark from our lives. Having expectations is like carrying the spark, the purpose within ourselves. And I believe it defines characteristics of a human. Why are we so determined to turn inhuman? Why are we so determined to let go off all the expectations? Just because we don’t wish to get hurt?

Getting hurt, nursing ourselves, and getting back into the battle should be the spirit of our lives. When expectations break it is a defeat. But it can also be a failure by our choice. Failure does not allow us to expect again. We should know that defeat is a part of our lives. Only the defeated know love. Only the defeated ones will know the honor of losing and the joy of winning.

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Calling Humanity

Once upon a time, there existed a land of Gods. The emblem of an ancient civilization, it was the kernel of culture with enormous values. That country was where love dwelt, the art grew, and harmony existed among people of different tastes. Its rare spices added an unforgettable flavor throughout the world.

But then there came an epidemic. An epidemic which diseased more than half of the population of that country. Gods had already departed from their homeland long ago, they left the remaining humans to trample in the waves of epidemic. Many waves came, and they kept spoiling the population. With consecutive spoliation, the ancient glory started to fade off. Love, harmony, peace, and humanity, they all started to pine away. That country now is at the verge where humanity ceases to exist inside people and their ruthless facets rule. The epidemic is killing us with its effects. A new culture has evolved which is the manifestation of this epidemic.

Today’s politics, the corrupt leaders, and their corrupt governance, these come much later. Before we comment on this why shouldn’t we contemplate where has the humanity at each individual level gone? Is it now a mistake to expect a person to behave humanly, and should we apologize for expecting this? Whatever views you may lay upon this, I personally believe that indeed that’s a mistake to expect of some humanity. From big cities to small towns, the new culture dominates now. Lets not talk of what big portion of the country has gone affected by the waves of this inhuman epidemic, and try to realize how less is left from being affected. In this epidemic what not is coming up on the population as its effects. Rape, abortion, child abuse, child abandonment and what not. Daily newspapers after advertising the Lotus and the common man’s hand, only mentions of these effects on the people. By the people, on the people, each day there is a new ruthless tale to read. Read, sympathize, and forget.

Like the way waves of this epidemic comes, waves to stand up for change and bring a revolution comes too. The only difference is that the epidemic’s waves never leave but waves to stand up for change and bring a revolution come and go. The churn to speak out on this issue came inside me after having watched 'Thanks Maa', directed by Irfan Kamal. I know the churn will subside soon, because like many I have grown a tendency to get used to and to move on. But I will never forget the inhuman sides of people now.

I own a very little knowledge about politics and the way it works, but I get to have at least the feel of what’s going on good and what’s not. And this post is not about the politics, it’s about social evils created by the people that exist around us. Those who have watched ‘Thanks Maa’, they would relate to this post quite easily. The movie focuses on the issue of child abandonment. One can easily make out from the movie that how much degradation has incurred to humans, and how they have been adding other evil as well into the society. At many scenes I kept saying to myself, ‘Oh God, no not this.’ Irfan Kamal through his movie has made his audience shiver terribly by some brutal depictions of truth published in the newspapers. Having watched those scenes in the movie was atrocious. It has been rightly said by someone that both heaven and hell exists on this earth.

If we try to mend our own localized holes, slowly we would find that the whole of the unified garment has been restored. The garment which covers all of us its underneath, needs to be refurbished. We can’t survive in the nakedness. The humanity is expected from each one of us. And to expect this should never be a mistake.

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