An Unforgettable ILP

Life has various ups and downs planned for you. Some ups project you so up that you tend to believe that you are riding in your dreams. You pinch yourselves, and you realize that its reality. One such experience came in my life, spanned in form of several unforgettable moments, in form of ILP (Initial Learning Program) at TCS. Getting a job was a huge joy, the experience I had during my training for this job was beyond any definition for joy. 

I stayed in I-202, at Madhuram Greens. My ILP held at Gandhinagar, Gujarat. And as I say I-202, smile comes on my face. My roommates, Ankit, Prajesh and Aditya, they have become an integral part of my lives. Each of them are so close to me now that during the phases when I am feeling lowest, I recall memories where I was with them and that is enough to spread smile on my face. I will not deny that Ankit has been the only person with whom I came this close, ever in my life. He is a man of finest nature, and with an upbringing which is rare to find now. I am a moody, and react differently at times, and that is because of the turbulent thoughts which churn inside my head from time to time. If I had caused any trouble to my friends, I beg pardon. Other than my roommates, every person from my ILP holds an important place in my heart. This post was supposed to come quite before. But courtesy goes to my hectic project, which keeps me away from my social life these days, both online and offline. I wanted to make this post a collage of memories. Some mad photography I did there came to my rescue, and them I have included here in this post. 

View of Madhuram Greens from my room.

Aditya, Ankit and Prajesh, at AlphaOne Mall, Ahmedabad.

Aditya, Ankit, Me and Prajesh. While we were returning from AlphaOne mall in auto rickshaw. 

It was my first time at KFC. And I tried veg. 

Ankit's garba performace. :D

Its Nikhil in the blue T-shirt, dancing with kids. Umm... Not his kids though. :P

Happy Birthday Ankit... On his birthday. 

Crazy people. :D

Happy Birthday Prajesh... On his birthday.

The crazy me too. Aditya, Me and Prajesh.

Happy Birthday Aditya. Bewildered he was; it was not his birthday. But still... :P

Happy Birthday Vanshika. :)

Celebration on our first salary. :)

Me, and Ankit, at Adalaj Steep Well. 

Aditya, Ankit and me, at Vaishnav Mandir, Sarkhej. 

It was not my birthday either. But still... :P

The period of three months passed by in a jiffy. Time for graduation from ILP came. 

Our batch. AJA 50, on the very last working day for our ILP.

Me and Sanjay. We shared the same cubicle. He sat on my left side. He is one of my dearest. And a very good human. I wish to meet him soon. We have a lot to talk about. :)

Abhinav Kashikar, CR for AJA50, and me. 

Selfie. On the last working day of our ILP. Ankit, Aditi, Sanjay, and me. 

Words are not enough to describe the moments I have lived during my ILP tenure. I consider myself lucky that I got my training with such lovely people, from such wonderful faculties. TCS Garima Park, Gandhinagar, will always have an important existence in my heart. 

Here we have, Killing Machine, Bravo, ***** ****, RAMBO and Stealer. :P :P

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Adios | BCET

“…when I was in my first year, I was told that the four years of engineering will be over in the blink of an eye. Now, when I am at the verge of completion of my four years of engineering, I can say that yes I have experienced it. These four years swept by so quickly. To me it seems that the four years were one single moment but it carried innumerable stories within it. Every story is fresh and it will be forever.”

The CSE and IT department of our college gave us farewell on May 20, 2014. To receive warm affection from our teachers and a note of motivation for our lives ahead was mesmeric. As this was going to be the last meet of ours with teachers officially, I carried my point and shoot camera with me and captured as many moments that I could. I don’t want any moment to let go off my reach. I want to preserve them, each one of them. But yes, I try to overcome the bad memories at the earliest, failing to do at most of the times though. However, they also make me a more experienced person, a little more learned, but the canvas of imagery you build gets stained with unintended instances in life. The journey of four years at Bengal College of Engineering & Technology had been somewhat a mixture of good and bad experiences which in totality helped me grow. I find there have been a huge number of changes inside me. My seniors helped me to grow, so did my friends, and I can’t forget to mention the role of my teachers in it. Teachers always help you in one way or the other, and trust me, most of the times you won’t even get to notice that they have helped you. In the later stages of life, you realize how important they were. Yesterday, on June 2^nd 2014, we gave the last exam of our B-Tech. After two days I am about to leave Durgapur, and I am filled with emotions towards some of the good teachers I was blessed with.

The starting note in this post is a part of the short speech I gave on the farewell day. I felt honored to get called along with Namrata, my best friend, by our HOD sir Dr.Prof. S Dasgupta to say something in front of the whole CSE & IT family.

“…these four years I was a part of the CSE and IT family. I have to leave now. But I wish to be remembered as a part of this family in the coming future too.”

This ended my speech then but filled me with melancholy. I can go on speaking of my college life endlessly. Most of the things I am backspacing here, probably I will let them out at some later stages of my life.

I want to thank each one and every one of them who were a part of the life I lived here at Durgapur.

Thank You!

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Looking back for a moment...

What has started, will someday come to an end. Be it my journey, yours, or someone else’s, or be this universe, all that has started will someday come to an end. Our lives in totality comprise of several small and big journey’s whose start and end are the subset of the set ‘the life we lived so far’, which in turn is the subset of a Godly universal set. Human’s thoughts and perceptions, they belong to a range of output from a philosophical function. This function drives the way a person enacts. With experience this function updates, and so does the output. Sometimes I wonder, how closely related philosophy of life, mathematics and science are. I can mathematically, programmatically relate different aspects as I see in my life. 

At the back of my minds, I am being flooded with memories I reminisce about the start of my college life. I always aspired to be a Computer Science Engineer. Having failed at IIT-JEE, my moral was pathetically down. In the year 2009, I was sent to Kota for pursuing the coaching at Bansal Classes. Even after the rigorous study, I admit my mistakes had been there, all investments turned unsuccessful. I reattempted the IIT-JEE in 2010, and failed at it again. But through West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination, I secured a significant rank that helped me to get Computer Science at Bengal College of Engineering and Technology at Durgapur. The college life that started on 10th August 2010 is about to end now. As I said before, this journey is just like one such journey among many which is a subset of the set ‘the life I lived so far’.

I have always been a kind of person who develops attachments very easily, and finds it difficult to move on. I had the same feeling at its peak when I was about to leave Kota as I am having right now. Various incidents, good as well as bad, they start to toil down the memory lane as I sit back for a moment in silence. I still miss Kota, lovely people I met there, and my friends whose friendship I will cherish forever. And I will miss Durgapur too. With million slaps of bitterness, there are several notes to sooth me off too, which are like mementos for achievement. 

I remember, I even wrote a poetry to express my attachment with our hostel. In these four years, I am the one who have lived in the hostel for the maximum amount of time. I have written several short stories, many poems, and innumerable random blog posts. All of these, they will still be with me, connected with incidents from the past. Now that in a month I will be leaving college, I want to thank all of them who contributed towards building a better 'me'. Durgapur, it will be special to me always. A part of me will live here forever, amongst the silence of roads gushed with wind and dead leaves in them, in those corridors of hostel where I stood alone for hours thinking what I don't know, in all those rooms where I lived in these four years. Its not a ghostly feeling and its description. "I will come back", and this will give a hint of what part of me will continue to live in Durgapur.

But as I said before, this journey is just like one such journey among many which is a subset of the set ‘the life I lived so far’. There shall be more journeys for me.

(when I was in first year of my college)

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Brain-sick's Diary >> Inhuman

Against the one I love the most, even to hear a small word of offence fills me with anger that I can’t subdue. The wrath of my placid soul fights against spoilt demeanor against the one whom I home inside me. How can I not? The tiny and weak strands of friendship, which I stood holding calling them to be considerate and fortunate for me, were mere delusion. I never thought they would pain me like the unhealed wound getting unstitched. From the day, till the evening, the obstinacy of my heart to never forgive them is getting more pronounced. It seems even if I pour myself into the glass of momentary alcoholic relief, my soul won’t settle down at peace.

The society seems to be on the consistent downfall in terms of humanism. Ranging from ways to communicate with colleagues to ways of being presentable in front of others, every trait of human in the socialized scale has been suffering setbacks in quality. How come has this degradation brought into existence? The slightest wisdom that bifurcates the ways to protest or to present disagreement and to abusively criticize someone has gone in vain. It seems they don’t understand what they are doing, is it disagreeing or is it abusing?

I had been clubbed with these thoughts all hours today. And I can’t let the one living inside me break down in tears. Because if it does, that would come as a calamity to me. I am that protective shield whose significance lies till the life it protects is jovially alive. And if it’s not, then for what shall I live for?

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Morning Reflections

Since the beginning, the time when I started blogging, I have written many posts concerned with friendship. What binds it, what unwinds it, how hurting it can be, how much centralized it should be; I don’t know in what post I emphasized which aspect of friendship but yes, I did, may be on different concerns and in different contexts. I keep collecting experiences and my learning from them keeps going on. I blog about them as my blog is my heart, the place where my feelings reside. I don’t want my experiences to escape from my heart and so they are here, on my blog.

I have seen that the in friendship circle, people I gave much importance to have always resulted into a being which should not be given even a penny of trust, not even a blot piece of bread. And for those people for whom I rarely collected any attention have contributed to me a lot in terms of solicitation and regard. Even if you get to know this theory, you can’t ascertain it soon. It takes time and circumstances to highlight the hidden aspects that keep faces covered under the shadow of disguise.

Love them who love you, but regard with respect to all. Try to judge people with what they do and not with what they pretend to do. I would also like to point that don’t just cling to your limited circle rather expand it further because anytime you may feel that you never belonged to that circle and probably your place was somewhere else. Very recently I faced this and now I regret why didn't I leave my circle earlier. Why didn’t I form another circle with those people who were like me, who would do what I liked to do and without pretending anything that they never do…

I have subscribed to few of Google’s SMS channel services and from there I received an SMS few days back. And it was as follows:
“Every struggle in your life has shaped into the person you are today…
Be thankful for the hard times, for they have made you stronger.”

I think this SMS should have been more precise with this post if I say it like
“We should be thankful to every friend of us who betrayed and allowed us to struggle on our own. They have actually made us more stronger.”

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My Folded Tongue

Talking with people in general, and speaking in front of group of people, how do you take these two different things? Pardon me if I quoted the same thing and called them to be different. But I consider them to be two separate areas that have significance in each case to be different from the other. We basically do the talking with people to let them know what we want them to know, things we would like to share, a typical discussion we would like to hold. Keeping everything inside our heart is not an easy task and so most of us need to speak with someone. Now where does this speaking in front of people stands for? I suppose speaking in front of people is a more official template, where measurements of your flow of words have serious importance, and you need to clarify yourselves and things you are discussing about. It is a more responsible way to express the matters. People may cross question you and you will need to clarify them over and over again. Now when you meet your dear ones what do you do? Do you speak out as if you are in front of people or is it the normal talking that you do?

I had always thought I am in a habit where I talk less. Recently I have realized that whenever I started the talks, I kept switching in between the shoes of the talking, and of the speaking. Why does this happen that even in friendly talks, we need to clarify ourselves, we need to give a proof of holding the way we talked. I looked into it, gargled the jug full of thoughts and contemplated few coins that didn't shine. I concluded that though I tend to speak less, but I slip into the boat that sails me off, and I keep throwing the words with every push on my oars. There should be a proper proportion of what you need to speak and what you actually speak. We must not let ourselves flow by the stream of emotions. If your boat slips off the coast into the sea then you need to step into the water to bring it back on the sands. It need not be mentioned how worse it can be if someone speaks unprecedentedly. You can’t do more good to him by discussing more than what he expects you to do. Being diplomatic is the best option left with us to continue being on the safe side and to prevent hearts to disassemble. This is the professional way of dressing ourselves. And I am trying to suit myself the best way in my professional field. This is just an experimental proposition by me, your views may vary. I have guilt if I hurt someone with my over explanatory talks without any need at all. 

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Welcome To The Real World...

Do you realise your eye brows getting concaved, ears twitching, and larynx ready for vibrations but your brain searching for appropriate words. Even if the brain gets them, still intermits the coordination to prevent you from uttering anything. This situation happens most of the time with me when I need to convey answers to one of the closest friends of mine, who mercilessly spears me with questions. I called ‘Spearing’ because those questions revolve around their personal lives, and giving answers to such, which I impart in form of suggestions, make me feel as if I am interfering with their so happening game.

The game in which we are characters, equipped with powers, weapons and strategies that we gain in the due process ever since the game started. Current status in the game largely depends on us that how well we were playing ever since the commencement. But today, games are never clean.

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