Thursday, July 5, 2012

Monsoon

The sky seems heavier today. Its cries in anger blemish the calmness it had yesterday. The sooth in its blue has vanished. Chillness with thrill is waiving around as it has turned grey. It has been silent for long, hiving numerous drops from neighborhood. The heart of the sky had them all, despite of the pain it carried. Fused together, they lied their dormant and the heart garnered them with care, protecting them from the unwanted layers. The heart forgot how much it could effort and surpassed every boundary, entangled in its fatherly care…
The drops have been collecting, joining themselves together. Today, it seems they have taken their immense form. They have turned mature and it can be seen well by the way they are proclaiming for their freedom. They have started sieving the heart that dwelled them all when they lied separate in their decrepit form. The father’s heart that never showed its pain seems to shed its agony now. It has turned grey. It wants to rain…

Someone below the sky has a heart too; someone who gave birth to tiny decrepit drops, the mother. The mother wants to accept the pains and console the fatherly heart. “Someone’s grief, someone else’s relief, draws the rule of survival”, the mother pacifies. Till the sun shines, me and you survive, it has to be this way. Probably the sky knows it too. I can see it has slowed down, giving off whatever tiny bit it had in it.

My eyes are illuminating. I look around. And all around me, everything seems illuminated. The sun has tinged the sky. And I see a smile the sky has born. The sieved heart is most beautiful. It has seven colors on it now…




Thursday, June 28, 2012

fotographia


Surprised! With strangeness in my eyes, I wonder how a scene could get missed from my naked eyes that a camera sees playfully. I play around with my cam, capturing in my frames the world, trying to make them appear as I want them to be. Same subject, different angles to grab the best shot I practice. Few tweaks on camera controls and slight knowledge of physics can do wonders to your frames.

While I was editing one of my photos, I got struck in a thought. To me, why the real world doesn’t impress me and but its portrayal in captured frames does. Is it so because I don’t want to see the real world? Or is it so because I have accustomed my eyes to a different world that being a false replica of the real one, with finer bits of added creativeness by a sight seer, has turned out to be more appealing and as per my wants. I start believing that the world in captured frames is the real one but it is just a diversion that I have created for myself to escape from reality. I am confused over what the answer to this should be but I know that truth is stranger than fiction. Moreover, I also wonder how easier the life would have been if we could mold the world the way we want them to be with certain possible limits to it. It should have been like the way we post process our snapped photos on computers in order to give them a finish that we missed in the actual shot. Few strokes of healing brushes, some resizes, color tuning and we are done… This is what I see through frames of viewfinder in my camera. Frames of my spectacles hurt me.

I have shutter speed and aperture control on my cam. I can control how much external light should come and fall on its sensor. I can even use faster shutter speeds to pause a fast ongoing event. Readjusting my spectacle frames, I rethink what controls we have got to mold and control the effects that the real subjects have on us? Many say that it’s us who decide how much we get affected from outside world and mold change in it as well. I never contradict on this but support this as an exaggeration.
I dare not to change my subjects. I just change my angle with respect to the subject and accordingly I need to validate my composition. I adjust my cam’s depth of field as removing every unwanted subject from the large field of view is not possible.
If I don’t blur the major reality, my minor subject will tend to go unnoticed.



Sunday, June 17, 2012

Explorations


Life has its meaning in living it. Praising one’s life presumes the extent to which they live their life. Living confined in boundaries of a garden never feasts us with reality. The reality has no limits, I suppose. Just pop your head above the boundary in your garden and there you will find another reality. The reality, that you never ever explored, as you were stitched to grounds and trapped in the circumference that you created for yourself. There is a lot to explore. The life itself ends when explorations end. Check your veins. Its pulsating is not an essential proof for your existence to be alive, but your continued exploration is.

I have always tried my hands on loads of things that impress me the most. Apart from writing, filming movies and photographing has fascinated me the most. I have started to explore this field too nowadays. Consequently I had been on a research to find a good cam for myself. Finally, almost two weeks ago I received my Camera from Flipkart. Its Canon Powershot SX-150 IS. This is a bridge camera and helps me learn all those tunings and options that are available in a DSLR. Effectiveness might not be that true in terms of quality in its images compared to DSLR, but is sufficient for beginners. I am an amateur beginner for Photography so this was my choice. Moreover this was the best possible bridge camera under my budget.


After my exams reached end, I shifted with my baggage at my friends’ flat and will be staying here till my classes resume. I couldn’t go to my home, missing my mom and dad. :( But I had no choice. I had to learn few of my Computer Science subjects so I am staying here. But other than this saddened face of coin, there is a lit face on the other side where I am learning photography with huge vigor and interest. Anirban Da has been helping me, being a support always, and guiding me appropriately. :)

I will be soon coming up here on my blog with photographs that I will be shooting in the process of my learning. :)

Stepping Stones



It rained yesterday here in Durgapur. Blisters that prevailed due to consistent heat and coagulated inflictions tried to wash themselves away. It felt soothing. Sometimes roaring harsh wind uplifts you the best. Hiving in closeness, playing romance on guitar is not always the obvious solution for repose. Hard Rock does play an important role wherever the former lags behind. I realized it yesterday. It felt soothing.

I am in third year of my B-Tech course now. Two days ago, I became a pre-final year student. And with this, more indulgent sprouts of anxiety and sense of responsibilities have started taking place in my mind and heart. Keeping the anxiety till the sphere of brain is acceptable. Its plunderage on walls of the heart is not. And other than this, I have been continuously grooming myself, trying to bring out the most uncommon in me, keeping the rest common ones in me intact and stabilized.

I have been with my roommate since first year. Persistent problems couldn’t make it possible this year and I will be having a new roommate now when the semester starts after the break. Sort of predicament I was in, because I build up closeness and intimacy quickly and much strongly. Everybody doesn’t do so; but I do. Consequently I alienate myself. After all I neither own the lock, nor the key. I am just a user till my authenticity as a user is carried over by the programmer. My scope and lifetime is not controlled by myself. Situations and needs dictate over this.

While returning from my Java class yesterday, still then it was raining, I noticed streams of dust, coagulated together, floating on the inundated silent road. I thought, how long are they going to last together? How long will they continue to be loyal and intimate for each other? Situations and needs dictate over this, I contemplated. Even though it’s pinning, I tried to accept it as soothing. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Morning Reflections

Since the beginning, the time when I started blogging, I have written many posts concerned with friendship. What binds it, what unwinds it, how hurting it can be, how much centralized it should be; I don’t know in what post I emphasized which aspect of friendship but yes, I did, may be on different concerns and in different contexts. I keep collecting experiences and my learning from them keeps going on. I blog about them as my blog is my heart, the place where my feelings reside. I don’t want my experiences to escape from my heart and so they are here, on my blog.

I have seen that the in friendship circle, people I gave much importance to have always resulted into a being which should not be given even a penny of trust, not even a blot piece of bread. And for those people for whom I rarely collected any attention have contributed to me a lot in terms of solicitation and regard. Even if you get to know this theory, you can’t ascertain it soon. It takes time and circumstances to highlight the hidden aspects that keep faces covered under the shadow of disguise.

Love them who love you, but regard with respect to all. Try to judge people with what they do and not with what they pretend to do. I would also like to point that don’t just cling to your limited circle rather expand it further because anytime you may feel that you never belonged to that circle and probably your place was somewhere else. Very recently I faced this and now I regret why didn't I leave my circle earlier. Why didn’t I form another circle with those people who were like me, who would do what I liked to do and without pretending anything that they never do…

I have subscribed to few of Google’s SMS channel services and from there I received an SMS few days back. And it was as follows:
“Every struggle in your life has shaped into the person you are today…
Be thankful for the hard times, for they have made you stronger.”

I think this SMS should have been more precise with this post if I say it like
“We should be thankful to every friend of us who betrayed and allowed us to struggle on our own. They have actually made us more stronger.”

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Songs, Bands, Hype and me...

Hype created during fest is still alive in our college campus. More than a week now it has been, but still the mood is flavored with tunes set by Underground Authority band and renowned new face as a singer, Vineet. Personally, I had enjoyed Underground Authority band more as compared to Vineet. The reason is not obvious; nowadays I prefer energizer rather than those songs that set me off. Romantic music sets me off. Rocking DK Bose sweeps it away. And the band did that very well.

Ever since the start of preparation for fest, Frisson 2012, I was keenly observing practice sessions of my friends who were to perform in cultural events. I was coordinator in the committee and had pretty bulk of tasks too. But throughout I was attached with some of our college bands in one way or the other, not as a practitioner but as a coordinator. I have turned very much inclined towards rock music now as a result. New aspirations to sprinkle my vibes through strings of guitar have taken their place in my veins. I am not sure if I will excel in it too, but I enjoy thinking about it at least…

Today we had an Alumni meet, Samaagam 2012 at our college auditorium. I was sleeping high, when Satnam bhaiya knocked on my door and asked me to rush into auditorium as fast as possible. The event was aimed to bring alumni of our college, scattered all over now, back into college, under the clouds of nostalgia for them and to present before us our seniors who have excelled from the platform where we are at present. Share of experiences with suggestions for improvement for forthcoming batches were the objectives. This meet was the first event of this kind ever in our college’s history and I think it is really a nice initiative which our Director sir himself promoted. Today was the first day for the Meet which had few performances of dance, singing which I didn’t enjoy much, while the remaining of performances will be tomorrow, on the second and final day of Samaagam. Today Mr. Soumyakanti sir and his band rocked me hard. His performance on Raghu Dixit’sHey Bhagwan mujhko tu, zindagi dobara de’ was just awesome. His performance has ignited my wish to learn guitar even further.

The first thing I did after I returned back to hostel was to download that Raghu Dixit’s song. The song has powerful lyrics which will move you away. I am here sharing a link of that song from youtube. I am just repeating that song over and over again in my playlist and proclaiming in my dreams if I could also learn guitar… :D




Friday, May 4, 2012

Girls-Oh-Mania (Part I)


How do you feel when you are walking alone and a girl passes by you, surrounded by her male well-wishers, whom you often consider to be her beloved, throwing a glance on you. You do try to look into her eyes but soon you dismantle your attention and turn your glance away :P. This is what happens most of the times with a student in his college life...Share how do you feel in your comments.

I think the first thing to strike in one’s mind will be, “what the hell do I lack that I am still alone?” Well, may be the girl would be somehow engaged in some other way too with those guys and not by the way we think them to be oftenly. I am on a different track and I have different propositions about it. India has been under a trend which emphasizes Women Empowerment. I am quite low on statistics and realistic facts on a country basis may not be present with me. But so far I had been here in my college and as per the situation I have seen here; I can gallantly announce that goals have been achieved. :D

And achievement has been so intense that Women empowerment has surfaced top and male counterparts now lie on the brink with their rights in vain. Semester’s internal marks, faculties’ attention and care, your best friend’s concern and even Egg Roll wallah’s priority goes to girls. Today I was forcibly made to wait 10 minutes extra just because three young and pretty girls arrived there; first year students probably. I thought since I had been there first, I would be given service first too. I was wrong. When the roll was prepared, I extended my hands to take it, while the biased Egg Roll wallah brought his hands towards one of those girls. I retraced, while other two girls laughed. And they giggled. Finally when my turn came, I ascertained it by querying him twice if it did belong to me. Things have been going on this way everywhere for me.

While returning back to hostel, I saw three boys accompanying a girl. One of them was my branch mate who lied to me that he had to study for Automata’s test and didn't accompany me for today's evening walk. How much my friends study, I am amazed. :D
In college life, you need to pay a lot for not being a girl. Ranging from your best friend’s concern for you to marks you get in internals. Another interesting thing I saw today was a notice posted in our hostel. We are going to have an off-campus placement drive for our college. I don't want to disclose the company name. But the package it is offering will surprise our campus students. Its Rs 5.86 lacs per annum. Interesting fact to note is that it is only for girls, underlined in bold. :D. 

A note of advice I learnt here in my college is, don’t consider any boy to be your best friend as he can leave you anytime for the best girl he assumes someone to be for him. This theory is applicable in vice versa too and with a more self-explanatory note. You just need to be a loner and a nice observer… 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Insomniac Dreams


Eagerness and anxiety are two companions who ally themselves unitedly and blow away your sleep. When assisted by your perfectionist traits, they will take you to a different world where you lie clung to what you desire. Everything else seems irrelevant and not of your wants. Things have been going the same way for me. I have turned insomniac since few weeks.  First came the Photoshopic designing opportunities for me and then flowed currents of learning new computer languages aspirations. I successfully managed to conduct the Python’s Online Test for my branch after rigorous discussions with seniors and faculty members of my college. When I was busy preparing for Python, at the same time I had been engaged with my previous projects too. And in those projects I had to consult and re-read those computer languages that have no readily connection with Python. It was important for me to get my hands dirty for the upcoming Python’s test but I was unsuccessful in keeping my mind aside from my previous projects. This is what happens and it has become obvious for me now. My mind adamant says to complete the previous task first and then move on to next. In this conflict of what to do and what not to, my mind rages and sleepiness vanishes.

Well the Python’s test ended “thik-thak” type, but at the end I did realize that I should have concentrated only on my current necessary goal. But it was no good that I could have done then by realizing so. May be it would help in future.
About two weeks back, I went to one of renowned faculty of my college. I explained to him how much I have covered in area of Web Development and Designing. Web Development and Designing is the area that fascinates me a lot and I enjoy doing it. I discussed with Sir what prospects I shall presume for myself with this passion of mine. I didn’t get answers that could have heightened my zeal. I respect the curiosity and care our faculty possesses for us. But one’s passion and desire fail to measure the decisions when taken against them. I did feel that way. I turned sad. It felt as if I have fallen open mouthed on the floor and there is nothing left for me.

Thanks to “TheSocialNetwork”, a movie I watched yesterday. How much change a web developer/programmer can bring in our society was well shown in it. The movie is about how facebook was formed and came into existence. I am highly inspired now. My drown dreams have risen and have started to fly high again.

Mark Zuckerberg, you are not just the inventor of Facebook, but an inspiration for me and for billions other like me too. I am looking for your poster to paste it in my room :D. Your story and hardships have already engraved in my heart. :)