Looking back for a moment...

What has started, will someday come to an end. Be it my journey, yours, or someone else’s, or be this universe, all that has started will someday come to an end. Our lives in totality comprise of several small and big journey’s whose start and end are the subset of the set ‘the life we lived so far’, which in turn is the subset of a Godly universal set. Human’s thoughts and perceptions, they belong to a range of output from a philosophical function. This function drives the way a person enacts. With experience this function updates, and so does the output. Sometimes I wonder, how closely related philosophy of life, mathematics and science are. I can mathematically, programmatically relate different aspects as I see in my life. 

At the back of my minds, I am being flooded with memories I reminisce about the start of my college life. I always aspired to be a Computer Science Engineer. Having failed at IIT-JEE, my moral was pathetically down. In the year 2009, I was sent to Kota for pursuing the coaching at Bansal Classes. Even after the rigorous study, I admit my mistakes had been there, all investments turned unsuccessful. I reattempted the IIT-JEE in 2010, and failed at it again. But through West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination, I secured a significant rank that helped me to get Computer Science at Bengal College of Engineering and Technology at Durgapur. The college life that started on 10th August 2010 is about to end now. As I said before, this journey is just like one such journey among many which is a subset of the set ‘the life I lived so far’.

I have always been a kind of person who develops attachments very easily, and finds it difficult to move on. I had the same feeling at its peak when I was about to leave Kota as I am having right now. Various incidents, good as well as bad, they start to toil down the memory lane as I sit back for a moment in silence. I still miss Kota, lovely people I met there, and my friends whose friendship I will cherish forever. And I will miss Durgapur too. With million slaps of bitterness, there are several notes to sooth me off too, which are like mementos for achievement. 

I remember, I even wrote a poetry to express my attachment with our hostel. In these four years, I am the one who have lived in the hostel for the maximum amount of time. I have written several short stories, many poems, and innumerable random blog posts. All of these, they will still be with me, connected with incidents from the past. Now that in a month I will be leaving college, I want to thank all of them who contributed towards building a better 'me'. Durgapur, it will be special to me always. A part of me will live here forever, amongst the silence of roads gushed with wind and dead leaves in them, in those corridors of hostel where I stood alone for hours thinking what I don't know, in all those rooms where I lived in these four years. Its not a ghostly feeling and its description. "I will come back", and this will give a hint of what part of me will continue to live in Durgapur.

But as I said before, this journey is just like one such journey among many which is a subset of the set ‘the life I lived so far’. There shall be more journeys for me.

(when I was in first year of my college)

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Undertone

The tinge of fading redness

As the sea gallops the star in its heart…

The time reminds of my departure

To the land where I will nourish,

The life I could not live here on earth.

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The Unique in You

Uniqueness, the characteristic that distinguish you from the rest in the crowd. And when each of us owns it, uniqueness works to give identity to individuals in the crowd. Throughout our lives we keep learning. In the process do we keep refining our uniqueness? Or does it stay the same till the end of our lives?

Uniqueness can be observed on macroscopic as well as on a microscopic scale; the uniqueness present in totality, or present with respect to domains. Well not getting too much technical, the essence of this post lies in realizing the uniqueness in us.

I believe 'learning' and 'uniqueness', they go hand in hand. The more we learn, the more we get to experiment with, and more shine to our work adds up. With learning, we get to know more specifically about the areas that inspire us and tend to bring out the best from us. And at the end of the day, from the work we have done, uniqueness is evaluated. I believe to completely build uniqueness, the role of learning we have attained cannot be shadowed. 

While I stressed on the importance of continual learning, I would mention of the grit that the Almighty blesses with. Why I mentioned of the Almighty here? I always mention of the Almighty when I need to mention of some uncontrollable forces; circumstances and hold which are beyond our control. Where a person is born, what sort of family they are born in, and like these there can be various things beyond the individual’s control that somehow would have helped in building the personality. Their persona so crafted in the uncertain world carries the elementary uniqueness. This uniqueness I believe, is beyond one’s control and desire, but I know they can be worked upon later with learning. See, the importance of learning can never be neglected.

The need to change ourselves can be enforced by various reasons, may be to be a better human, may be to hone our personality for our professional lives or may be just to be like our role models. To change for improvement and excellence is great, but never at the cost of 'copying' someone. I have copied a lot, not in exams but in different walks of my life I lived till date. I tried to copy handwritings of my friends because I didn’t like mine, I tried to speak like some of my seniors because I thought my way of conversation with people was not good. And like these, there have been various instances where I copied people. Why did I copy? I copied because I knew I was poor at something. I chose to copy to improve. However, the correct way should be to learn first, and then we will improve ourselves. I kept copying in one way or the other till a week ago. When we copy, we tend to lose our uniqueness. And this uniqueness is the Ace. This is the elite aura that can do wonders. 

Lets try to find out our field of interest first. On the second, we should look if we need any improvement before we start to work in our area of interest. If we need any, then that must be achieved by learning and not by copying. When we improve by learning, uniqueness starts to come to the front with blaze. The third step should be to start working in our area of interest, and consistently looking to improve the work we are doing in it. By the time we would stand on the third step of staircase, we would realize the importance of continual learning.

Uniqueness is a bliss and a catalyst to our success reaction. It must not be killed by stabs of copying. 

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'The Power of a Common Man'

I saw ‘Nayak’ in the reel life in year 2001. I had never thought the reel life would transform into reality, and
the whole nation will witness one day a ‘Nayak’ in the real life. Yes! And that day came when Arvind Kejriwal took oath as the Chief Minister of Delhi on 28th of this month.

It takes 'intention' to be present, and not the experience, says Kejriwal to lead the nation towards upliftment from clutches of corruption and moral degradation. I completely agree with what he says, with whatever clauses he has quoted to be inculcated into our constitution. Towards politics, the interest of mine would get inclined so drastically, I never thought of it. But that came into as I saw him taking oath to get sworn as the 7th Chief Minister of Delhi. And it’s not just for me but I suppose a major portion of India’s youth is getting drawn towards AAP (Aam Aadmi Party). It was not a surprise for me when I read of Remo Fernandes joining AAP. This is just the beginning, and I believe soon many will be coming to the front. We are mistaken if we believe that joining a political party means we are going to contest elections. It’s just like becoming a member of an organization and working for it at the back end, clarifies Remo.

The early life and political career of Arvind Kejriwal is very interesting. At each instant and at every walk of his life I sense the ‘intention’ to work something better, to curb down the corruption into ashes.
And now that he has got the platform and sufficient power to ‘change the prevailing’, expectations are huge.

Day before yesterday, I came across this photo.
And only one thing comes to my mind, ‘Never underestimate the power of a common man’.

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The Prerequisite that helps to Succeed...

How much importance we give towards education of children. What do we aim for by educating them precisely? Do we intend to make them increase the number of degrees of various qualifications? I believe we expect them to come up with sound knowledge, but not just that rather we expect them to develop themselves into a civilized and a well behaved ‘human’. Children are made to target towards the wishes bricked together by their parents, and seldom left to make the choice of their own. But at the grass root level if we examine, we will realize that indeed we wish to produce a well behaved person in future.

Sadly, somewhere we are lacking. We are lacking to produce youngsters with proper mannerism and quality to behave decently in front of other people. When talked about mannerism, I bifurcate moral values and professional behavioral attitude as co-related but separate entities. A child inculcated with sound moral values need not always possess sound professional attributes in his behavior. And the same goes the other way round too. But neither of these two entities is being imbedded into youngsters. This setback is coming at the front in form of poor placement records in colleges, and this scenario prevails more dominantly in C-grade private colleges of India.

After such students pass out from college, frankly with such a void attitude they own no future at all. Companies who hire people look for well-groomed personality and rich mannerism in talks first, knowledge comes second. And if they fail to meet the first requirement, who cares to let them have their technical knowledge tested. The matter is of prime concern today, and this not just covers the problem arena of engineering colleges, rather it stresses the need to own well behavioral attitude in general as a prerequisite before venturing for any kind of job. You can yourself see how we are inclined towards those companies who offer better customer relations. How good the service is being provided that comes second. At the first place we realize how the behavioral outlooks are towards us. From your favorite local restaurant to deciding the best consultancy service for your business, it all starts with sound conduct in talks.

Today to grow with India, the prerequisites need to be inculcated and furnished with shine at the earliest. The early the youngsters realize this, the better it will be.

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The 3rd Blogoversary

It was around this time, three years back; I was in first year then. It started with enthusiasm to have my own space online, which would somewhat look closer to a website. I remember I made a website for my school when I was in class Xth as a part of my school project. Having got appreciation from my computer teacher, gradually I gained interest in web development, and always wanted to have a website for myself. What exactly my website would be all about, what contents it would have I never thought of. ‘Blogs’, I came to know of when Mr. Amitabh Bachchan started to reach people through his blog. Blogs are the medium to express yourself and connect with people. Blogs serve as an online journal, linking to other sites and news stories.

My poetic verses and story making in messages/SMS for fun and scraps on Orkut started making their space at my newly made blog at Wordpress. But me being an enthusiast for web development, and a student of computer science, I was not satisfied to work within restrictions imposed by Wordpress at that time. Wordpress has turned a bit flexible now but then it not even allowed use of iframes and external scripts. 
I came to know of an online tool which could transfer a Wordpress blog to Blogger, keeping posts and comments all intact. And that marked the start of my exposure to web development and web designing.

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Brain-sick's Diary #4 >> Unusualness

Something unusual has happened. Something that is pulling me into despair. Something which is clenching me in the fist of depression; a depression of a kind whose origin lies veiled. Only my senses are reactive towards the rhetoric discussions I have been raising inside me. Perceptions I envisage is pulling me apart with a force that can uproot a living strong tree, that can bring to the grounds tombs of giant mega structures, that can explode away a town with nuke energy.  I don’t know the specific reason. I just witness the unusualness.

Interests are getting suppressed. Things that used to be my passion (which they still are, but have gone under hibernation) are also getting dim in my arena. I go through early pages of my life, and I feel surprised on the changes I underwent. In the isolation, in the separate space where I have dragged myself into, I keep juggling thoughts and beliefs that have burst out from nowhere. Why does this happen? No clues.

Facebook? Twitter? G+? I have quit almost all of them. I used to be one of the most active person on social media websites. Though I never run out of plots for short stories and poetry, but increased intimacy with the unusualness has slackened the will to perform, to write them on my blog. Why am I writing all this crap right now? I am only scribbling my heart on pages of my open diary just to bookmark this day, and when I will look back again in distant future, I will try to feel the worst unusualness that I have experienced. Why does this happen? No clues.

Friendship which is considered to be the most sacred relationship (I haven’t seen, I read in books) never crosses my way. It might be that I am very stiff at my attitude and consequently this relationship never intersected into my way. I have always tried to mix with people, tried to get to know them, tried to weave strands of solidarity with the people whom I connected with. But I have failed each time. Love? Does it exist? I have only seen unusualness.

This unusualness is intensifying with each passing day.  If I could ever get to reach its origin, I will surely bring myself out of this labyrinth, killing the evil spree to death. 

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An Odd Invention

Like the way OS drives hardware,

My tender heart drives my actions.

My CPU seldom pauses its function,

Clutched in multiple processes

And deadly thread synchronization.

Endured against suffocation,

Withstanding brute deadlock condition;

I envy that giant-tiny mastermind,

Fabricated into a chip

Named after Intel’s perfection.

My limbs and glands,

Constitute my local connection.

Through narrow bandwidth in my nerves

Runs protocol for communication.

In meshes, in rings, in stars or on buses,

With niggling breaks and data congestion

My dreams sail in intense versions.

Full of exclamations and interjections,

My vision surpasses

Chris Nolan’s ‘Inception’.

Procuring the imagination

Of an unmatched conviction.

With new thoughts’ propulsion

At my solitary mansion,

I head towards tranquility

Drawing my steps towards the invention.

An invention that can help you find

Eternal love for your life 

Exempted of distrust and disgust.

Aided with honesty, and upheld warmly.

And that would be my ultimate innovation;

My blow of life,

Into lives of millions & millions.

Images Courtesy : Google Images Search

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Enviousness

I envy him…

The stealer who sneaked into my vase,

Furtively he lavished my flowers with glam.

With strokes of his magic wand;

Vanished my flowers; their essence scrammed.

I still care and preserve,

The leftover aroma in the emptiness.

I envy him…

As he turned into a giant black cloud,

Hovered above; embraced my love in the night sky.

A tear rolled down, and mingled with stillness in lake.

And soon it rained; emerged an urge to crush my ache.

But I stood low, dormant and lifeless.

I wait for the sky to get clear.

I envy him…

The musketeer who plundered into my home.

He took away all that was mine,

Sweetness on her lips, and her dimpled face in shine.

I wish his musket to kill me,

As her memories couldn’t help me die.

Image Courtesy : Anshul Gautam's - ViBGYOR

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