Showing posts with label Anshul's Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anshul's Reflections. Show all posts

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Elicitation


अश्को के समंदर में,
बेपनाह प्यास से,
बेवफा प्यार में तेरी 
जल रहा हूँ मैं.

टूट के छितराए

अरमानो के टुकरों पर,
हर डग खून सींच रहा हु मैं.

कातिल तेरे खंजर की

चोट से बढ़कर ,
तेरी यादों की लौ में 
जल रहा हूँ मैं....


(C) Anshul Gautam

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Home!!! | Gharaonda...

घर की याद तो आती थी,
आंसू छलक भी जाते थे;
लफ़्ज़ों में हाल बयां ना करते,
पर दर्शक समझ ही जाते थे.

हमारी तेज़ और स्पर्धा को
नयी उचाइयां जो देनी थी,
कुछ अधूरे ख्वाब थे हमारे,
पुराने कुर्ते के फटे जेब थे सारे;
इनको नया जो करना था,
अम्बर से प्रकाश को लाना था.
घर की झोली कम पर जाती
तो हौसला अपने अन्दर ही भर लिए;
मैं फिर आऊंगा की दस्तक छोर कर
घर से दूर हम निकल लिए.

वर्ष कितने ऐसे ही बीते;
संघर्ष में सनी स्याही से,
हम इतिहास के नये पन्ने भरते.
घर की बिलखती यादों को शांत कर
ह्रदय कठोर, हौसला ठान कर,
मैं जल्द आऊंगा के गीत गा कर,
मंजिलों की ओर हम बढ़ते रहते.
  
अपने आंगन से दूर रह कर,
विशाल गगन में अपनी छाप छोर कर,
आज चंद सितारे तोड़ लाया हूँ;
घर से दूर रह कर
अंधकार जो हमने देखा था,
हिम्मतों की खरी लौ में आज,
अमर दीपक जला कर लाया हूँ.

मंजिलों को हासिल करके,
कुछ और नये ख्वाब देख के,
हौसला कुछ और समेट ले आया हूँ;
नए धुनों में अपने गीत भर कर,
अपनी आवाज़ में गुनगुना रहा हूँ.
माँ के पास आज लौटने,
घर वापस मैं जा रहा हूँ...

घर वापस मैं जा रहा हूँ…




/*     I want to dedicate this poem to my lovely Father. What sort of days we have seen together, living away from our own home, for consecutive five years almost, they can' be described in words. However I just tried to present a glimpse in this poem. This is for the first time in my life when I have tried to write a poem in Hindi. I can speak, but honestly, I am very weak at writing Hindi. But still, I have tried.
And my Dad; he is very happy on being back to our home town, back to our home. My mom and me; we glad on seeing him happy. :))     */

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Stillness




I listen to the stillness
I witness purity at dawn
I listen to gentle rain
I watch the awnless lawn.

With my eyes closed
I try to feel
Sudden rush of chillness,
Stillness in weather’s appeal.

My bare feet lead me 
To the last bench I see,
No one is in park
Just stillness in bevy.

Only rain on them sound
Barky trees don’t sway,
Stillness have cursed them
Just still they stay.

It reminds me of a picture
Once I hung on my wall,
Black demons were all around
White man stood still in thrall.

What I see, Is it photo-frame’s ordeal?
Or is it me inside it, alive and surreal?
Demons have stolen all the colors
Caged me in arms of stillness.

I will push through
The stillness stilled,
Demons turn weak
Once the Sun is unveiled.

I run; fast and quick
Stillness freezes me at halfway
But I still can see and feel,
Stillness in the next picture on my wall.




Saturday, November 3, 2012

Sneaky Tales : Rejection


I always wake up, and my breath becomes heavy. As of now, I am still feeling heavy, as tattered notes from the last dream come across my mind. And for past four years, waking up, and facing the reality has actually hurt. The cold realization, that I am still there, from where everyone else moved away, sets inside me slowly. I am not fond of waking up. And I tend to sleep, even when I am not asleep. Waking up from your dreams, and waking up from your sleep, I take these two things separately. I have set my own ways of treatment with them.

I am afraid, but optimistic locutions don’t impress me. Whenever I have tried to apply them, they have lead me to nowhere but lost away in vain. Why do people greet the day with smiles? Are they escaping from the simple truth? Today is a cold reminder. It’s one day later than yesterday, one year later than last year. And sooner or later, the destined one will come. But I dare not express these. I need to polish myself each day, so that I may not yell out everything that I have kept inside.

I have been a heap of thoughts and convicted feelings that bring me rejection. Rejection has been a part of my life, and I faced it more than acceptance. The one writing this is the real one. It takes me sometime, each day, to turn what I am in front of people. It takes courage to hide the storm inside you. And once you have spilled out the storm, you ruin your relationships. I have ruined mine. I have untied all the knots that used to bind me. People won’t like to get drenched in your stuffs that don’t suit them.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I am a Foodie



Yeah! I am a foodie. But then, I wasn’t. When I was a kid, my mom used to rush around me, following me wherever I ran, with lunch plate in her one hand, and spoon in the other. I didn’t like to eat. Actually I loved junk foods, but mom never served them to me. Health conscious, you know. As I grew up, I fathomed my field of tastes. I found I was restricted within my favorites and never stepped out of them. This could be the reason, why I was thinner.

When I was in Kota, it was the time, when I turned foodie. I ate exceedingly, and it reflected through inflation of my tummy. But I didn’t care. Nice food, nice people around who encouraged my food habits. This was what I loved the most. You eat what you like, and people around you support that too. Rajasthan is famous for the spicy food you get there. I was paying guest to a Rajasthani family, and I enjoyed my stay there; my taste buds awake always with every spices they added.

Today, when I am living in hostel, I feel once again as if my field of tastes in food has turned limited. We get tremendously bad quality food here. Consequently, I have lost my senses to what food tastes like when I am eating. I am eating here just to keep myself alive. I have lot to study, and I haven’t met a girlfriend yet. So keeping myself fit, and active with this quality of food is challenging.
*Click on Photo to Enlarge*

Being a foodie is one thing, and knowing how to cook is another. I learnt to cook something worth to eat while I was staying with my friends, during the previous semester end. I was exposed to their style to living. And I learnt how to survive with whatever we get easily around us. I mean vegetables and eggs; that make lives of bachelors easy. :P
The pic above is a collage of various pics I snapped while my friends were at work. I was involved too, but I was keener on capturing frames with my newly bought cam. :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sneaky Tales: The Storm


The wind was gravely chilling. I felt like moving no more. Wrecked at my knees, short of air in my lungs, I was drawing myself into state of Hypothermia. I remember the stress I exerted to bow down and sit, rest for a while under an icy shed. The storm had wiped out everything from my vision. Sands were overrated. Just like tiny little rocks. It was only here where I built our castle. Sands were smooth then, and lighter. In the blurred vision, only one figure was precise; a lonely girl in orange. Her bare feet had trailed a name. Shipra!


Her first glimpse asserted I could meet someone; someone who would be like me. I had always guessed chances of that happening were diminished. And so were they. The storm was needed to uncover the true face. And I was struck in middle of that storm. How long the icy shed will sustain standing, I will calculate with number of days left in my life, or may be hours. My skin which was ripped out weren't bleeding. A part of storm had entered inside me. Everything was freezing; outside me, and inside me.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Cinema: Luna! Mon Amour



Are you also an admirer of art in movies like I am? I am here talking about mainstream movies, not documentaries which despite of being powerful at its composition lie unreached from its audience, most of the times. I have no genre specified for movies. I prefer each one at times, depending on what mood permits. But yes, I have set a criterion, and I never watch a movie with IMDB rating less than 6.5.

Day before yesterday, I watched ‘La Teta y la Luna’. It’s a Spanish movie directed by Bigas Luna. Though, the story you might find too much provocative and explicit, but the tenderness that the director has weaved through his stitches in the story is out of this world. A child’s perspective to what adults will consider agitated thoughts of obscenity has been painted on the moving canvas with enormous care. It’s never the topic of adultery that makes a movie worth for adults only but the disgraceful indulgence into one’s fantasies that might disturb the norms we have set in our society. Can you imagine if one of such fantasy can appear intensely innocent, so pure to you ever?  I have come across it through this movie. I was just speechless till the end.
The start of the movie, which unpacks Mathilda May, the actress in the lead role out of a gift box, is center of attraction throughout the movie. The story revolves around her, and a cute little boy, Tete, whose molars are yet to come out. Tete is unhappy with his newly born brother, and considers him to be as ugly as a demon is. You will need to watch the movie at your own risk to know why that was so… :D

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Ebook Library



Books are the major source of knowledge. Whatever your course may be, how big, how small, it doesn’t matter at all. What matters is the knowledge that we need to acquire in order to get ourselves going in it. I am an Engineering student; my field of study is Computer Science. Being a geeky chit-chatter on web, and as a mindful student of technology, I keep myself attached with upcoming technologies. Not a single day passes when I don’t get to know something new on the web. Newsletters from various sites that I have subscribed to, keep gathering in my inbox. Thanks to almost never ending space that Gmail has been providing us with. Sometimes I overlook some messages; however I try not to miss any of them. Delay may be, but I try to make out some time to go through them. Interest of such a kind, and a thirst to conquer excellence, keeps me awake. Surrounded with books that I wish to read some day, expecting that day to near soon, I keep thinking; innovating. These days, YouTube video tutorials have been of great help to me. I would like to thank few of my online gurus, like EliTheComputerGuy and Bucky at thenewboston. Their youtube channels taught me a lot.

“Mam! I was wondering if I could get that HTML 5 book, by Oreilly, GooglePress”.
“Really? Do we have that book in library”, our librarian asked.
“Yes mam! We do have. I just saw its reading copy above. Please do help me by issuing me that book”, I requested her.
“Let me see. Ok you do one thing, come next week, I will keep a copy ready for you to be issued”, she asserted throwing a smile at me.
I am no miser at throwing smiles as well. “Thanks mam! I will be here next week”.

Actually ebooks are like blessings for IT guys like us. We can’t manage to purchase every book, even though they are important. Downloading them through net and turning pages electronically is also turning a habit now. I wish the habit to get permanent soon. It would be a boon for me. But still, contemporary reading style and ease drives us towards paper editions of books. And this very thought stepped my foots towards library that I rarely visit.


“Mam! As you said, I am here after one week. Would you please issue me HTML 5 book, the one that I had asked you for?”
“HTML? Here is one book, it’s on HTML as well”, she replied.
“But Mam, I want HTML 5. Its older version of HTML, version 4, the one that I studied when I was in class Xth. I am in 3rd year of Btech at present”, I replied politely.
“Arrey! Version 4, version 5 sab ek hi hai, grab this one otherwise someone else would get it issued”, she asserted as if she knows everything about that book.
“Thank you very much mam! I think I won’t issue that book. Thanks again.”

Lack of resources in your engineering college will pinch you throughout your stay at the college. If you get placed in campus placement drive, these feeling will mold them in certain different dimension. And if you are in some private college like I am in, lack of resources actually turns depressive. At least books should be provided adequate in number and of sufficient variety. Just putting a reading copy for the reading room is of no gain. Neither can I clarify my needs; neither can they impress me on what they have.
Ebooks are the only choice that I am left with. Dark spots around my eyes may be consequent effect, but I have no other choice. I have built a virtual library on my laptop. It bears massive collections of ebooks and total size occupied is about 21.8 gb; still increasing. :D

Friday, August 31, 2012

Footmarks



Strolling down the streets has turned a habit. New faces carrying distinct story behind them swivels across me. I tend to escape, I tend not to allude.  I wander to fetch something that I lost long way back. Last road bend and the diversion had already behaved strangely. It deluded me to a secluded traversal path that even the demon didn’t bother to sculpture on anyone's fortuned engravings.

I am searching if my story intersects somewhere with someone’s. Someone’s strange might mingle with stranger mine and we would wander together, in the lonesome streets; sometimes greener and sometimes derelict. Footprints and scribbling on the rocks give me power to move on. For I know through them, that someone made their way through it. Did they succeed? I shall walk till the finals to know if their exists scribbling on some rocks there too.

I will throw some initials. I will leave impressions on trunks to make the path easy for the followers. My footprints will be large and clearer.  I look back to confirm, no one I see. May be they will be lost somewhere. If their story intersects with mine, my left impressions will simplify the puzzle. 

Time has been ticking….each drop falling swiftly, trailing down the cheeks. Purest form, but insanity along and my footmarks are moving towards the finals.